Cho stands up — for herself and others
Whether defending gay rights or her own image, Comedyfest headliner maintains ‘ constant vigilance’
MARGARET CHO: CHO DEPENDENT Presented by Vancouver Comedyfest When: Sunday, Feb. 19, 8 p. m. Where: Centre in Vancouver for Performing Arts Tickets: $ 44.25 to $ 70.50 from ticketmaster. ca
Margaret Cho, whose raunchy standup material has propelled her stellar career as a comic, is dead serious about one thing: her soul is a tender place and she is going to fight for it.
Along the way, she’ll be a warrior for your soul, and for mine.
Some Twitter users on a mean streak recently learned this lesson the hard way: Don’t diss Margaret Cho. Don’t crap on her choices, and don’t even think about criticizing her body.
A blazing flame war between Cho, and a couple of her ( now- blocked) followers, erupted after Cho posted pics of her new ass tattoos, by artist Criss Cleen.
When some fans commented negatively, she “blew a f---- ing gasket.”
“I’m not very tolerant of misbehaviour from other people. I’m intolerant of other people’s carelessness,” Cho explained in an interview with The Sun.
In conversation she’s serious, thoughtful and to the point.
“I want to talk about how it feels when people criticize other people’s bodies anonymously.”
To Cho, the put- downs felt the same as when she was a round- faced, blackhaired Korean kid at camp in a sea of blonds, when her classmates threw rocks at her and stuffed dog crap in her sleeping bag.
Back then, she had no way of fighting back. “I had no friends,” she says.
The difference between then and now? Now she has a plenty of friends, and a strong voice honed by an industry that, she says, “heckles you as a person every day.”
The Drop Dead Diva star eviscerated her Twit critics, and posted a manifesto to self- esteem that was equal parts crie du coeur and rebel yell: “I grew up hard and am still hard and I don’t care. I did not choose this face or this body and I have learned to live with it and love it and celebrate it ... ”
Freedom for Cho has come from standing up for herself, and for other outsiders, fighting for acceptance, through humour onstage, and hard work offstage.
In a business where, when she was starting out, “everyone was white and male and a heterosexual,” being Korean American, and a woman, was not easy. “There was a lot of fear around who I was. My manager at the time was scared that I was gay, scared
I grew up hard and am still hard and I don’t care. I did not choose this face or this body and I have learned to live with it and love it and celebrate it.
MARGARET CHO
that I was Korean.”
( Cho is married to a man, but simultaneously identifies as gay, bisexual and sometimes tri- sexual, and is a staunch fighter for gay rights.)
Cho’s journey to openness and selfacceptance was hard fought, but getting there was a matter of life and death. When producers of her first television series, All American Girl, which debuted in 1994, criticized her for being overweight, she dieted until kidney failure put her in hospital.
Struggles with addiction and alcoholism followed, and ultimately a very public life in which every aspect of her persona, including her bisexuality, was on the table and the stage.
Looking back now, she feels empathy for the girl who hadn’t yet grown into her face and skin and voice.
“I’m sad for that person. I’m sad for any young woman that feels like they have to measure up to something that doesn’t exist. Ideals are not real.”
Standing up for herself online, Cho is not funny, even if it’s her business is making people laugh.
“Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness ...” she blogged in response to the Twitter followers that took pot shots at her.
“If I had been told once when I was a little girl that I was pretty ( other than when I was sexually molested — that doesn’t count) it might have made me nicer ...”
Cho, who bares all — tattooed ass and exuberant soul — in her work, started tattooing her body eight years ago.
After being tempered by three decades in a tough business, the artwork is the medal of honour she has awarded herself. Ultimately Cho wants to have a Japanese full body suit tattoo, but because transforming herself for acting roles is a priority, for now she is only covering parts of her body that can be hidden with clothing.
Growing up in San Francisco, where her father ran a Polk Street bookstore, she found identification and solace among the colourful mix of gays and immigrants that frequented the neighbourhood.
Her parents were supportive of her interests, but fitting in at school and among her peers was impossible. “I’ve not had a very pleasant experience so far in life, and it’s made me tough,” she explains by phone from California.
Reclaiming her body through tattooing has been a spiritual journey as much as a physical one.
“We can find beauty in ourselves and adorn ourselves in the way we like. It’s a great message to send to your soul.”
Cho, a vocal advocate for gay rights and supporter of the It Gets Better campaign, said her solution to the torment of her peers was to psychologically “step out of childhood.”
Part of that process was to stop seeking identification with her tormentors, and find herself in her writing and comedy.
At 14 she was experimenting with stand up, at 16 she was booking paid shows. “My solution was to just grow up. It empowered me tremendously. I just said I don’t have to suffer any more. It’s a choice you make within yourself.”
That’s not to say the battle was over. It just changed.
“It’s on and off. It’s a struggle every day. I’m always trying to stop the things that make me feel terrible. It’s an active kind of going in, and trying to feel good and constant vigilance.”
Although she got her big break after winning a contest that snagged her a coveted spot opening for Jerry Seinfeld, true freedom has come from embracing her outsider status. Sometimes, doing so means choosing to ditch the big money opportunities.
Cho joyfully “threw” her chance on Dancing with the Stars by coming out in a rainbow dress in a dance crafted to send a message of support to LGBT youth. “I wanted to make a statement by standing up for gay teenagers and if that made me get voted off, that’s fine. You have to decide what you are going to do when you have that big an audience. It’s important.”