But does Tiger really still have it?
Poor showing vs. weak opponents shows Tiger hardly has his growl back, despite Faldo’s praise
Woods’s intimidation tactics and putter fail him during the Accenture Match Play.
Items that may grow up to be columns, Vol. XIV, Chapter 3: SIR, YES, SIR!: Guess there’s no point being knighted by the Queen if you’re not going to make everyone call you sir, but still, it sounds kind of goofy to hear all his on- air colleagues refer to Nick Faldo as “Sir Nick.”
The knighthood hasn’t made the six- time major winner infallible as an announcer, though. As Tiger Woods was barely beating someone named Gonzalo Fernandez- Castano, 1- up, in his first match of the Accenture Match Play, the Spaniard yanked his approach to the 18th green and Faldo ( can we still call him that?) declared: “He’s still got IT.” Meaning Woods still had the ability to intimidate opponents, as if a young European Tour player unknown on this side of the water was a proper test case.
Thursday, Woods’ powers of intimidation — or his putter’s, anyway — somehow failed to overwhelm Nick Watney, who sent him packing from the round of 32, beating him 1- up when Woods missed a five- foot putt at the final hole. WHAT’S IN THAT HEAD, CHEESE?: When National League MVP Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers beat the rap on his 50- game drug suspension on a technicality Thursday, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers got all fired up and posted this on Twitter:
“MLB and cable sports tried to sully the reputation of an innocent man. Picked the wrong guy to mess with. Truth will set u free # exonerated.”
Funny, Rodgers looks smarter than that in those State Farm commercials.
Yeah, Aaron. Major League Baseball really was hoping the reigning NL MVP would be found guilty of cheating, because that’s such good publicity for the game. In fact, the only reason Braun — who tested positive during the 2011 season for elevated levels of testosterone — got off was that the lab that conducts the tests didn’t send the sample off the same day, as it’s supposed to.
As my old National Post colleague ( now Esquire magazine star) Chris Jones posted: “Season hasn’t even started, and Ryan Braun’s already leading in BS percentage, WTF, and the SMH index.”
SMH means “shakin’ my head.” WTF is ... never mind. HOW DO THEY SLEEP?: Following hard on the heels of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue, in which some female athletes’ suits weren’t suits at all, but body paint ( Whitecaps/ Bell alert!), out comes Sportsnet Magazine’s “Beauty In Sport” issue, and part of the campaign involves an online poll in which fans are asked to vote for the hottest female and male athletes.
There’s bonus points if you have any idea who half the women listed are, or a few of the men. But if sex and sports don’t mix, nobody appears to have told the advertising folk.
Then I saw a tweet from Canadian skeleton racer Mellisa Hollingsworth ( who was not, scandalously, among the choices offered by Sportsnet) in which she said she was “getting ready 4 # world champs wearing ronald mcdonald house scarf.” The accompanying photo, however, had her wearing all kinds of clothes, not just the scarf. Clearly, she’s missing the boat.
BUSTED!: Favourite golf item of the past week from Jason Sobel of the Golf Channel: “Texas golfer stabbed when foursome ahead won’t let his threesome play through. There’s a lesson here, folks: Slow play kills. Literally.”
Close runner- up: Irish pensioner Thomas Talbot is launching a multimillion- dollar lawsuit against Hermitage Golf Club for lowering his handicap by 7.8 strokes between 1999 and 2004.
His current handicap, he says, is 21. The Hermitage club said that under Golf Union of Ireland Rule 19 it had to reduce his handicap if it believed it was too high relative to his ability — i. e., if he’s a sandbagger.
“I’d turn up for a competition and there would be nobody to play with,” Talbot said, in a story in The Independent. Wonder why that would be? GREAT EXPECTORATIONS: Keegan Bradley, who won the Farmers Insurance PGA Tour stop at Riviera CC a week ago, was liberally roasted in the social media for his interminable, stutter- stepping, false- starting pre- shot routine during which he would spit saliva onto the ground several times per shot.
By all accounts a genuinely nice guy, Bradley obviously heard about it and was embarrassed, because after his firstround victory in the Accenture on Wednesday, he tweeted: “One of my best rds of the year. Excited I’m still alive. And didn’t spit once! # progress” EL HUMBLE: New Anaheim Angels first baseman Albert Pujols isn’t happy with a billboard campaign introducing the former St. Louis Cardinals slugger to his new fan base as “El Hombre” ( The Man, in Spanish).
He didn’t like to be called El Hombre while in St. Louis out of respect for Cardinals legend Stan ( The Man) Musial, and now that he’s changed teams, he’s sticking to his guns, out of respect for ... Vernon Wells? NOSEFACE STRIKES AGAIN: Hockey’s most reliably infuriating pest, Brad Marchand, stirred it up again Thursday in Boston when he was asked about the trip to Buffalo for Friday’s game against the Sabres. Prompted by the host, Marchand said: “Yeah, Buffalo would be the worst place in the NHL, so I’m not too excited to go there, but I’ll be pretty excited to leave.”
Upon arrival in Buffalo, he told reporters he was just kidding. “It’s always cold and usually rainy when we come here, and I was just playing around,” he said. “I hope I didn’t offend anyone.”
Of course not. Don’t give it another thought.
PHIL THE THRILL: Last week, in an interview with syndicated sports talk show host Jim Rome, famed golf coach Butch Harmon said of his most famous current pupil: “Phil Mickelson has to carry around his gonads in a wheelbarrow.” In sports parlance, presumably he meant Phil has plenty of, uh, courage.
Breaking news: Mickelson’s longtime Sherpa Jim Mackay is changing his nickname from Bones to Stones.
TROLLING: From ICBC’S Twitter account: “Did you know — 10 pedestrians are killed in Vancouver each year? Here’s tips for driving to keep peds safe.”
Here’s my own tip: never attempt a right- hand turn on a green, because you’ll either hit pedestrians crossing on a Walk light or crossing on a Don’t Walk light — no fear of a jaywalking ticket in this burg — right up until your light turns red, at which time you may turn right unless there’s traffic or pedestrians coming from the left, in which case you may just want to stick darning needles in your eyes, park in the righthand turn lane, put a For Sale sign on your car, and walk.