Best, worst, weirdest and wildest of the new fall season
Coming soon to a TV near you this fall: When a fish out of water meets a dog and pony — no, wait. That isn’t a real show. It could have been, though.
It’s that time of year again, the annual week- after hangover and post- mortem when the TV networks’ fall schedules are set in stone, or silly putty if you will, and everything old seems new again. Early June is a little like midnight on Christmas Eve in the TV business. Each neatly wrapped gift, every carefully laid- out stocking promises a treasure trove of shiny new toys that will never age, never break and never lose their shine.
Of course, in the real world, reality soon sets in and everything old seems, not new again exactly, but more of the same old same old. With the usual caveats in mind, then — overnight cast changes; unexpected schedule interruptions; behindthescenes stare- downs, weirdoffs and all- out fist fights, etc. — here’s an early look at the fall season’s best and worst trades, trends and cocktail- party talking points.
Remember, as with the TV schedule itself, programming is always subject to change.
Best argument in favour of revisiting the old qualityvs.- quantity argument:
Media analysts are positively atwitter, on Twitter and elsewhere, about how this new season is going to be a watershed year for comedy, what with 35 sitcoms hitting the air this fall. And that’s not including The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer. Never mind that most viewers would gladly settle for one Seinfeld over 35 Whitneys.
Worst case of premature speculation:
Mariah Carey! Elton John! Katy Perry! Lady Gaga! Madonna! Kanye! For a moment there, the list of potential — i. e. rumoured — replacements for booted X Factor judges Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger read like the red carpet guest list for the MTV Music Awards — in a good year. And then it happened. The longawaited announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, your new X Factor judges ... Britney Spears and Demi Lovato! Demi, contrary to popular belief, was not married to Bruce Willis or Ashton Kutcher, nor was she the subject of a culture- jolting Annie Leibovitz 1991 Vanity Fair cover. Demetria Devonne ( Demi) Lovato is a singer- songwriter musician and actress famous for appearing in Barney & Friends
( as Angela), as well as one of the leads in the Camp Rock movies. Got that? Good. Now on with the show.
Best example of corporate convergence and creative thinking making beautiful music together ( oh, who are we kidding?):
Two and a Half Men’s move to Thursdays, where it will follow The Big Bang Theory, means a solid straight hour of nudge- nudge- wink- wink jokes
calculated to tickle your funny/ family bone and make you forget that Charlie Sheen ever starred in a show called Two and a Half Men. Can a crossover episode be far away?
Weirdest pairing this side of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman:
CTV’s decision to pair Anger Management, starring a certain Charlie Sheen — perhaps you’ve heard of him — with a new comedy called The New Normal,
about a gal who volunteers to become a surrogate mom to a gay couple looking to start a family. Best new title( s): Anger Management, The New Normal, 666 Park Avenue, Last Resort and Guys with Kids are short, simple and largely selfexplanatory titles: You don’t need a program to know what they’re about. It helps, too, that the early notices — based mostly on highlight clip reels only a handful of advertisers and media analysts have seen — suggest the shows themselves are not accidents waiting to happen. Worst new title( s): Nashville has nothing to do with the classic Robert Altman film. Chicago Fire is not to be confused with St. Elmo’s Fire. Vegas should not be confused with the ( long ago cancelled) Las Vegas. Emily Owens, M. D. sounds generic and dull, and The Mindy Project sounds as if the makers couldn’t come up with a proper title. Worst of all, though, has to be Made in Jersey, which is neither made in New Jersey nor has it anything to do with Jersey Shore. It’s a courtroom drama about a young, female workingclass lawyer trying to make an impression at a snooty, upscale Manhattan law firm dominated by an old boys’ club. Promising
concept, off- putting title. That can be a tricky combination.
Biggest gamble that no one — well, hardly anyone — is talking about:
After the costly, high- profile collapses of serialized dramas like The Event, V, Surface, The Nine, Daybreak and FlashForward — not to mention, more recently, Terra Nova, Alcatraz, Awake, Missing and The River — the casual viewer could be forgiven for thinking the TV networks have decided to turn their collective backs on costly serialized dramas for good, or else leave them to the pay- TV and specialty channels that know what they’re doing, like AMC, HBO, FX and Showtime. Not true! This fall will feature several costly, new, high- profile serialized dramas, including Last Resort ( Global, ABC), from The Shield creator Shawn Ryan, about a maverick submarine crew that goes rogue after being attacked by an unknown force, and the post- apocalyptic Revolution ( Citytv, NBC), from J. J. Abrams and Supernatural creator Eric Kripke, a tale set 15 years after every electronic gadget has stopped working. Think of it: A world without TV. Coming soon( ish) to a TV near you.