Family Court to decide if fat father is a fit parent
OTTAWA — In a Family Court case to be ruled on soon, a judge will, in part, decide whether a 38- year- old Ottawa man is too fat to be a dad.
The Royal Ottawa Hospital’s Family Court clinic, which does court- ordered assessments on parents in the Ottawa area, has begun using obesity as a factor when deciding if parents are fit to raise children.
In court filings by child- welfare authorities in the case of an obese Ottawa father who is fighting for custody of his two boys, a doctor at the Family Court clinic wrote: “Finally, [ father] has struggled with obesity for years, which impacts significantly on most aspects of his life including [ his] functioning as a parent. He was short of breath or winded in simply walking short distances about the clinic and he lacks both the mobility and stamina required to keep up with young and active children.
“Once again, [ the father’s] strong personal beliefs on issues, including weight loss, make it difficult for him to accept the opinions of specialists on such matters,” the doctor wrote in the assessment report. “[ The father] needs to address his own medical and psychological affairs. These would include his cannabis addiction and his level of physical fitness.”
The Child and Family Services Act prohibits identification of the father and his children, who have special needs and are in foster homes.
At his heaviest, the man fighting for custody of his two boys, ages 5 and 6, weighed 525 pounds. He refused gastric bypass surgery at the Ottawa Hospital and decided instead to lose the weight through exercise — he used to be a power lifter — and proper diet. He trained seven days a week and swam lots of laps in a pool.
“Quite frankly,” a doctor wrote, “I do not believe he followed through with even one of our dietary recommendations.”
In fact, the father dropped to 340 pounds on his own terms and now weighs 380. He’s proud of his weight loss and so is his doctor.
The father, who hasn’t seen his boys in a year, says, “I was never too fat to be a dad.”
He acknowledged his mistakes, has stopped using drugs, taken anger management courses ( he and his exwife had a history of fights), and has lost weight. “To have your children taken away from you because you are too fat is more than mildly insulting. But then to have busted my ass to lose the weight and still not be given a single chance is something only a few would understand,” he said.
He said he felt ashamed and likened it to bullying and discrimination. “Any human who has the capacity, intellect and desire can be a wonderful parent, no matter if they are a dwarf or a parent in a wheelchair,” he said. “Parenting comes from the heart and soul.”