Hits keep on coming for QBS
On any given play, quarterbacks are the target of several men
SSan Diego (+ 7.5) at Denver
o Alex Smith threw a touchdown pass with blurred vision last week, and Mike Vick was knocked senseless, and Jay Cutler played two possessions with a concussion. Oh, and Ben Roethlisberger suffered a sternoclavicular sprain, which is easily the most desirable injury of the bunch. A sternoclavicular sprain won’t make you suddenly think you’re playing in the football game in M* A* S* H, the movie. Hey, there’s Elliott Gould!
Now, it would be easy to say that mamas should not let their babies grow up to be quarterbacks, since in football quarterbacks are the guys who are the targets of between three and eight men on any given play, and those men usually range from about, say, 6- foot- 1 and 180 pounds ( a blitzing cornerback) to 6- foot- 3 and 250 pounds ( a blitzing linebacker) to 6- foot- 2 and somewhere between 325 pounds and planetary ( Vince Wilfork, bless his elephant heart). These men are also often surprisingly fast, and also armoured, and can therefore become giant hurtling human rock- missiles with murder in their hearts, when possible.
Of course, it’s usually far worse being a running back, or a lineman, or a wide receiver, or a linebacker, or a tight end, or a safety. But it was a bad week for quarterbacks, who are already as protected as an NFL player can be. You can’t hit them too low ( Bernard Pollard, Tom Brady, knee surgery, etc.). You can’t hit them too late, or too high ( well, except when you just go ahead and do it. Houston linebacker Tim Robbins, 6- foot- 1, 236 pounds, was fined $ 30,000 for launching himself up at Cutler’s helmet during their Sunday night game.)
The result of all this, in the very short and narrowly focused term, is that Colin Kaepernick, Nick Foles, Jason Campbell and Byron Leftwich were handed the steering wheel to teams that, in order, are now 6- 2- 1, 3- 6 ( but with a coach trying to save his job), 7- 2 and 6- 3.
Last week, this space went 8- 6. Sadly, this qualified as some sort of triumph. Washington. Combined record, counting Washington twice: 25- 38. Road games: two. Number of winning teams: One. Seems like the NFC East remains up for grabs! Now let’s see how Romo screws this up. Pick: Cleveland The 4- 5 Saints have scored at least 27 points in seven of their nine games, which is slightly more points than the Bears, Giants or Packers average per game, and by itself would rank eighth in the NFL. Saints defence, basically, is a weekly New Orleans funeral, but with less foot speed. Pick: New Orleans
N. Y. Jets (+ 3.5) at St. Louis
Jets head coach Rex Ryan reportedly cried in the lockerroom after last week’s loss, which would be tabloid headline fodder if America’s generals weren’t caught up in Tim Tebow, or a military sex tornado. This week, the New York Daily News’s “IN THE LINE OF BOOTY” edged the New York Post’s “CLOAK AND SHAG HER.” Pick: Jets
N. Orleans (- 4.5) at Oakland
Of all the ways Peyton Manning is appealing — his aw- shucks demeanour, his uncanny sense of comic timing, the fact that those Papa John commercials will one day go off the air and never be seen again — the fact that he appears to have a tiny pot belly while being a great quarterback might be No. 1. Pick: Denver
Baltimore (- 3.5) at Pittsburgh
Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall is apparently suing Hanes, the underwear manufacturer, for dropping him as an endorser after he wondered if 9/ 11 was an inside job after Charlie Sheen did the same, but wasn’t dropped. Hanes said Sheen didn’t have the same morals clause Mendenhall did. Um, why not? Pick: Baltimore
Chicago ( off the board) at San Francisco
Last week Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk wondered about whether any NFL player, but in particular Bears cornerback Charles Tillman, who might be the best defensive player in the league, should be allowed to miss a game to witness the birth of his child. Less stupidly, Florio later recanted. Pick: Chicago The rest Green Bay (- 3.5) at Detroit Pick: Green Bay Arizona (+ 9.5) at Atlanta Pick: Arizona Tampa Bay ( pick) at Carolina Pick: Tampa Bay Philadelphia (+ 3) at Washington Pick: Washington Cincinnati (- 3) at Kansas City Pick: Cincinnati Jacksonville (+ 15) at Houston Pick: Houston Indianapolis (+ 9) at New England Pick: Indianapolis Last week: 8- 6 Season: 66- 76- 3