Out of the cold there’s little to complain about

Most of Canada still huddles, teeth chattering and frostbitten, in the grip of a massive, bone- chilling cold snap that’s affected much of the continent — although by week’s end the deep freeze was beginning to show signs of easing.

At one point, all 50 American states reported freezing temperatures and that included Hawaii. New York and New Jersey both declared states of emergency. Even in Nunavut, where Arctic weather is, well, normal, they were complaining about hurricane force winds and deep sub- zero temperatures.

More than 20 people have died as a result of the bitter weather including a young New Brunswick woman found frozen in a snow drift just 150 metres from her door. Blizzard conditions paralyzed highways, closed schools and cancell ed more than 2,300 flights, including hundreds at Canada’s national aviation hub, Toronto’s Pearson International Airport, which caused backups from Montreal to Vancouver.

Earlier this week, Environment Canada was forecasting a high of minus 25 for Saskatoon, it hit minus 50 in Brandon and Timmins, while Winnipeg grappled with wind chills so severe that garbage pickup fell behind schedule — gosh, by one whole day, they are tough people in The ‘ Peg.

And it wasn’t much better on Bay Street in Toronto, where the calfskin briefcase set was coping with warnings that the thermometer would not be rising above minus 18 anytime soon. Those who trudged home, praying the power would stay on this time after the icestorm blackouts over Christmas, found their sleep interrupted by the booming noise of “frost quakes” in the frozen ground.

Michigan got 40 cm of snow last weekend. Illinois closed schools. So did New York, in the midst of a blizzard of the kind that in less hospitable parts of the U. S they call a Blue Howler. It deposited 20 cm of snow on Times Square amid severe wind chill conditions.

New Yorker Magazine’s tongue- in- cheek cover featured a couple of polar bears replacing the lions that guard the Romanesque pillars and staircases of the city’s world- famous public library. Could it be anything other than a sardonic tip- of- the- hat to that A- price, B- list 2004 science fiction thriller The Day After Tomorrow?

Remember that one? Super frigid air from Canada blasts into America and freezes Uncle Sam solid. After ignoring a prescient paleo- climatologist’s warnings, survivors huddle in the New York Public Library, burning books on tax law to stay warm while awaiting evacuation to sunny Mexico.

Golly, now it turns out there is a “polar vortex” and it’s to blame! Atmospheric circulation, it seems, normally locks up a column of air right over the North Pole where it chills to super low temperatures. But if there’s a disruption that weakens the circular flow, that air spills southward into more temperate regions, accompanied by temperatures cold enough to freeze the, um, whiskers off a brass Bay Street lawyer.

So there it is. The polar vortex is responsible for changing daily life on most of the continent into an awful science fiction melodrama. Mind you, it kept cold- hearted media ghouls gainfully employed, spawning whole photo galleries of icy highways, people with icicles hanging from their parka trim while digging out buried vehicles and weary, unwashed passengers sleeping on the floors of airports waiting for flights. The Associated Press photo gallery did end on a charming shot of a little girl seizing the opportunity to make snow angels in a deserted Times Square, a reminder that one person’s blizzard is another’s winter wonderland — especially if school closes for the week.

Yet if CBC was broadcasting advisories from the Rocky Mountains to The Rock on appropriate dress for the High Arctic conditions and how to cope with wind chill, frostbite, hypothermia and windburn; if Torontonians were complaining about why their world class airport went all Mickey Mouse in a cold snap and suburbanites in Winnipeg were crabbing about the late garbage pickup, what was the complaint out here in the magic bubble of Lotus Land?

There’s too much darn drizzle and too few sunny breaks.

No there isn’t. On South Vancouver Island, for example, the last three months have been the driest in a hundred years. Greater Victoria’s reservoir is already 25 per cent below capacity.

It’s been too balmy — there’s not enough snow at the iconic mountain resorts from Whistler to Mount Washington. Well, that’s a fact. Less rain means less snow. Ski resorts have been relying on artificial snow and other imaginative ways to keep revenue trickling in while waiting for winter to arrive. The snowpack on Vancouver Island is reported at only seven per cent of normal.

Real estate prices are too high. Who can afford to live here? So blame it on the Albertans. There are too many orange and white licen ce plates clogging up the parking slots. ( Come on, can you blame folks from refinery row for wanting a respite from the oil- soaked deep freeze? And they are spending their petrobucks!)

Oh, woe, is us, back in the hot tub sharing a bottle of prize- winning B. C. wine at yet another après ski rendezvous after having been forced to negotiate groomed slopes. Shucks, probably time to get the kayak out and go for a False Creek paddle in that confounded drizzle. Might see a whale. Or maybe hit the seawall for a quick jog before checking to see if the snowdrops are up yet. Or just a coffee in Kits and a good gripe session over housing costs.

While Canada shivers, we should count our South Coast blessings. They’d love such weather worries to whine about in Winnipeg or Toronto. In the meantime, take a good look at news coverage of winter elsewhere and remind yourself exactly why it is we pay a premium to live here — and why it’s worth it.