‘ I had to find a way to tell this story’
Judy McFarlane describes her journey of discovery with Grace, who has Down syndrome
When writer Judy McFarlane was asked if she would help Grace, a girl with Down syndrome, to write a book, she realized she held deep, unacknowledged fears about Grace’s condition. Yet Grace’s passion to become a writer inspired McFarlane and Writing with Grace tells the story of McFarlane and Grace’s journey. McFarlane explores the dark history of Down syndrome and delves into what it takes to face one’s own prejudices, and to live a full life. Q
Tell us about yourself. A I began writing in mid- life, when I returned to university and completed an MFA in creative writing at the University of British Columbia. Since then, I’ve published fiction and non- fiction, including several radio documentaries for CBC. My fiction has been nominated for the Journey Prize and I’ve been a finalist in the CBC Literary Awards, non- fiction ( now Canada Writes). I’ve also worked as a writer- in- residence in schools in Vancouver and northern Ontario, helping students write plays about issues important to them. I live in Vancouver with my husband, our small dog and on occasion, one of our three grown children. Q What inspired you to write Writing with Grace? A The first day I met Grace, she told me she wanted to write a version of Cinderella. When I asked what her Cinderella would look like, she showed me a dark blue velvet dress and said, “This is what I’ll wear.” I knew then she wanted to tell her own story. And I wondered if by writing a story of transformation, Grace was trying to change how she was seen. Later, I’d learn that Grace’s grandfather had said when she was born ( revealing an attitude common to his generation), “put her away and forget about her.” Not long after our first meeting, Grace showed me her notebook. It had her notes, lists and poems, and at the end, on an otherwise blank page, one sentence: I always dream to be a famous writer. I felt I had to find a way to tell this story.
Q What preconceptions about Grace, and Down syndrome, did you have before writing the book?
A Before meeting Grace, I’d never met anyone with Down syndrome. In hindsight, I was very ignorant about the condition. When a friend asked if I’d help Grace get started writing, that request brought up preconceptions and fears I hadn’t realized I held: that someone with Down syndrome wouldn’t be able to talk about writing, or wouldn’t be able to talk at all, or might become easily upset, agitated, difficult.
Q How were these notions shattered or challenged when you began to work with Grace?
A I soon learned that Grace is quick, very capable of talking about writing, and easy to work with. She has an excellent memory, is bilingual, and loves to read. We talked about writing issues such as tense, point of view, the flow of a story, things I never thought I’d talk about with someone with Down syndrome.
Q Can you speak to how Writing with Grace helps us to reconsider our own prejudices from those different to us?
A Difference, whether it’s something like Down syndrome, homelessness, or a cultural difference, can make it hard, sometimes even impossible, to see the other person. As humans, we tend to fear difference, to shy away from it. One of the great gifts Grace has given me is an increased ability to look beyond my fears, beyond the difference, and really see the other human being.
Q What makes writing an effective tool for breaking down barriers? What is it about the medium that helps us to feel compassion and understanding of others?
A Writing can take us into the mind of another person and let us see the world through the eyes of that person. It can make us feel as if we are that other person, and once we feel that, it’s much more difficult to turn away or dismiss that person with a quick or harsh judgment. One day when Grace and I were talking about what it meant to have Down syndrome, Grace told me, “My real truth is too scary. I like to hide my real truth.” When I heard those words ( and, I hope, when someone reads them) I felt like I’d had a glimpse of the world through Grace’s eyes.
Q How did your experiences with Grace, and of writing the book, challenge your original fears of becoming a writer ( as faced as a writing graduate)? A When I was at university in my early 20s, I knew I wanted to write. But I couldn’t make myself open the door to the creative writing building. The stakes seemed too high. Growing up, my mother, who’d had to drop out of school during the Depression, often told me she wanted to write. Going through that door and possibly failing would mean failing at not only my dream, but also my mother’s dream. So when Grace said, “I want to write,” I thought, she’s said what I couldn’t say at her age. I was inspired by Grace’s courage.
Q For readers who have no connection to Down syndrome, why do you recommend they read Writing with Grace?
A While I tell Grace’s story and touch briefly on the dismal history of the treatment of those with intellectual disabilities, I think my book is about finding the courage to follow your dream, even when that seems impossible, and about letting go of fear and opening your heart to others.