WOULD YOU DARE WEAR WHITE?
Celebs often pull off what us regular ‘ civilians’ daren’t
Many years ago, one Christmas, I was horrified to open a kindly intentioned present — a book entitled Simple Isn’t Easy: How to Find Your Personal Style. It was simple and easy for me to assume a monumental sulk, which lasted from the carving of the turkey to the sweeping away of the mince pie crumbs.
I never read the book. Which is a shame, because it could have saved me from catastrophes, including the white Capri pants ( or as they should have been entitled, the backside- visible-from- Capri pants), the white linen trousers that were always filthy before I got out the front door, or even the brief white slingbacks phase.
What did each of these faux pas have in common? Not recognizing white from wrong.
Yet looking at pictures of Angelina Jolie in London last week, I felt any woman may have been tempted by the idea of wearing white. Jolie looked ethereal and goddess- like — and entirely suitable for the conference on ending sexual violence in conflict that she was promoting.
“Jolie is superhuman,” says Nick Ede, style and brand expert. “She looks great in white, as do Madonna, Sharon Stone and Jennifer Lopez. White is very popular at the moment — it’s a very American influence, very sports luxe.”
Other celebrities who look great in white include Nicole Kidman, who specializes in Grace Kelly- esque grace ( shame about the film), while Emma Watson and Gwyneth Paltrow look cool and sophisticated. When Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge wore a white- and- navy Jaeger dress, it sold out in minutes.
And it’s tempting to think that there were three in Liz Hurley’s marriage — herself, her ex- husband Arun Nayar and her white jeans. Despite the scoffing, Hurley stuck to her guns and her skin- tight white slacks with a determination that can only be admired.
Hurley once referred to those of us who are not celebrities as “civilians.” I would suggest a new definition: those who can wear white, and those who cannot. “White is not very forgiving,” says Ede, tactfully. “It shows up any blemishes and accentuates your shape differently. It gives an optical illusion, but not in a good way.”
Or as one friend put it more bluntly yesterday: “Anyone who isn’t a delicious size 10 with super long legs should never, I repeat never, wear white trousers. It extends the size of your bum by 100 per cent.”
The size issue is only the beginning. What items of white clothing is it acceptable to wear? The consensus is that a white shirt is fine ( but not with black trousers or you’ll be asked for a salad and cappuccino), while a white dress is OK, as long as it’s not too bridal ( you don’t want to give your boyfriend’s parents a heart attack the first time you meet them).
Intriguingly, while white used to be the height of bad taste to wear to a wedding, Vogue has just opined that after Cara Delevingne and Pippa Middleton both wore white as bridesmaids, the rule can be relaxed. And that’s before we even get started on the underwear question — while the strict rule was to always stick to a nude shade, I’ve noticed an increasing number of women wearing black underwear under white tops.
Back in the Middle Ages, there was a set of rules known as the sumptuary laws. These dictated what you could wear based on your position in society — so, for example, cloth of gold and purple silk were confined to members of the royal family.
I’d argue that wearing white is a modern- day sumptuary law. Dressing in a shade that makes Simon Cowell’s veneers look grubby clearly states: I’ve got the time and leisure ( or staff) to look after my wardrobe and laundry, and the money to pay for holidays to give me the tan to showcase all my well- cared- for clothes appropriately.
The penalties for violating the medieval laws were harsh: fines and loss of property. Those of us who attempt to subvert today’s sumptuary laws can expect to come to an equally sticky end — if you’ve managed to dodge the toddler’s jam- covered hands, the carelessly held pen, or the splash of coffee, you will inevitably sit on the piece of gum left on that park bench.
Believe me — what do you think finally happened to those Capris?