Fulfilling a father’s bucket list
Ruth Atherley has spent the past five years taking trips with her aging dad.
F or my husband and me, travel is “our thing.” It is a huge part of who we are — as individuals and together.
A few years ago, after a casual conversation with my dad about the places on his travel bucket list, it became something special between the two of us.
Over the past five years, my husband and I have been focused on fulfilling my 83- year- old father’s travel bucket list. Taking these trips with my dad and his wife (my mom passed away many years ago) is an incredibly fun and rewarding experience. We have sipped rum punch on the beach in Barbados and had fish and chips while wandering around Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. On our most recent trip we visited Belfast, Ireland, went to the street where his mother grew up; went inside the church where his grandparents got married; and sailed past the White Cliffs of Dover.
My dad shattered his femur in a fall a couple of years ago and underwent months of rehabilitation.
While he is now as healthy and full of beans as ever, he does have some mobility issues as a result of the fall.
With this in mind, we decided that a British Isles cruise would fit our needs.
A cruise would allow us to see everything we wanted to experience and would take away worries of travel from city to city. The bonus: we only had to unpack once.
England, Ireland and Scotland can be a little pricey with the Canadian dollar exchange rate right now. My husband and I have sailed on Norwegian Cruise Line before and we like them. The fact that they offered a great British Isles itinerary that met our needs, and they had a beverage and a specialty dining package promotion as a part of the cruise price sealed the deal for us.
Every night when we got back to the ship, we could sit, have a drink, and discuss what we had seen that day. The ship, the Norwegian Star, has 14 restaurants — seven of which are specialty restaurants. There is also a British-style pub that worked well for us and a new bar: 5 O’Clock Somewhere. It is associated with the man who made margaritas famous, Jimmy Buffett (and I am a big JB fan, so that made me very happy).
There were l ots of fun moments on the ship. We had adjoining rooms, so that made it easy to find one another when it was time to go and play cards or go for dinner. We could easily check in with each other or borrow things, if we needed anything.
My dad and his wife loved the little towel animals that the room steward made up and left in our rooms during turndown service each evening. One night, knowing how much they liked them — the steward went all out and they came back to a whole menagerie of them in their cabin.
The cruise started off in Copenhagen, which is a beautiful, friendly and interesting city. We took a hop-on, hop-off bus there — and even with a cane, my dad was easily able to do it. The ship also visited Rotterdam, Netherlands; Portland, England; Falmouth, England; Cork, Ireland; Dublin, Ireland; Belfast, Northern Ireland; Invergordon, Scotland; Edinburgh, Scotland; and then we disembarked at the Port of Dover.
One of my favourite days was in Cork. Here, we had a city tour with Specialized Travel Services. Even though our guide, Liam O’Leary, worked hard to get us to Blarney Castle before the big tour buses from the ship arrived, unfortunately, there was a long lineup to kiss the Blarney Stone — and it is a bit of an uphill hike, which would have been a challenge for my dad. However, the grounds are beautiful and the castle — even from a distance — is magnificent. We also stopped by the English Market, which was a fun place to walk around and check out the specialty food shops. We did have our first wee pint of Guinness when we stopped for lunch at the Wharf Tavern in the pretty seaside town of Kinsale.
We had to tender i nto Edinburgh.
My dad and his wife chose to stay on the ship and rest. My history buff husband and I spent hours wandering around Edinburgh Castle, walking in and out of the interesting shops on the streets below the castle, and learning the Royal family’s history in the Palace of Holyroodhouse, where Queen Elizabeth often stays when she is in the city.
In Belfast, we visited the Titanic Museum — a truly exceptional experience. Belfast is where the Titanic was built and where it left port for its illfated maiden voyage.
I thought I was doing something nice for him by taking him to places he wanted to see, but in reality, by sharing these adventures with me, he has given me a priceless gift.
They provided us with a wheelchair to use so that my dad wouldn’t have to walk through the large facility. All of the exhibits are wheelchair accessible and the staff was really helpful in making sure that we were all able to enjoy the experience.
From there, we took a Black Taxi Tour of the city. Belfast is a city with a complicated and violent history — and it is clear that they are still healing. On our city tour, we heard a great deal about the city’s past — and hearing it from a local gave us a new perspective that went past the headlines and the history books. It took us into the life of a person who had lived through some of the internal conflict that Belfast has experienced.
Our guide was kind enough to take us on a bit of detour so that we could visit the street that my grandmother grew up on and the church where my great-grandparents got married. Watching my dad’s face as he took it all in was something really special. I could see him looking around, remembering stories his mother had told him about her childhood in this neighbourhood. And when he stood — in silent reflection at the end of the aisle where his grandparents got married — I could see how much it meant to him to be able to have this experience. Watching my dad connect with the history of his family was quite emotional.
I have a cousin and an aunt who excel at ancestry research — and it turns out that not only is Belfast the birthplace of my paternal grandmother, but we still have relatives living there. After our tour, our guide dropped us off at the Crown Liquor Saloon, a famous (and old) local pub, and we met my dad’s second cousin for a Guinness and a little bit of a family catch-up. It was kind of surreal to sit there, sipping a pint with someone we just met, who shares our DNA.
The cruise ended in Dover. Seeing the White Cliffs had always been a dream for my father. Standing on the ship’s deck with him as the cliffs came into view in the morning light was truly amazing. As a young child, I can remember my dad talking about the White Cliffs of Dover and saying he was going to see them one day. To be able to stand there and share this experience with him was an incredible moment and one that, as a daughter, I won’t ever forget.
We spent an extra day in Dover so that we could see the area and check out the cliffs a little more. We stayed at the Best Western Dover Marina Hotel & Spa, which was right at the waterfront and was a wonderful, conveniently located hotel. We took a half-day tour with Gary Price of Horizon Private Vehicle Hire. Because he grew up in the area, he shared an insider’s view of Dover and the surrounding towns with us. He even took us to have a sandwich in the town of Sandwich — which made my dad laugh. We learned about the history of Dover as a key military stronghold throughout the centuries and about the bootleggers and smugglers that made up so much of the fabric of this charming and unexpectedly interesting area. While all of our tour guides had been excellent, Gary was exceptional. He knew so much about the history of the area and was fully focused on our comfort and experience. Our time in Dover was one of the highlights of the trip.
When my dad and I first had that conversation about our travel bucket lists, I knew that we would go to some interesting places and have some fun. Travel has always opened my eyes and heart to different cultures, new people and history. Travel with my dad has deepened our relationship in so many ways. I thought I was doing something nice for him by taking him to places he wanted to see, but in reality, by sharing these adventures with me, he has given me a priceless gift.
Being able to spend time with my dad, visiting the places he has always wanted to see, has given me experiences — and memories — that will last forever.