Family needs to find better balance with screen time

Setting limits and taking part in alternative activities is the way to go

THIS WEEK’S PARENT TRAP:

My daughter and her friends are always in front of their screens. It’s a pattern that has gained so much power that pulling it back seems pretty much impossible. I’m miserable about the way it has taken over our lives. My husband models the same thing, so I’m up against an entire family and culture of technology obsession. I don’t feel I can take their technology away and don’t want to be constantly harping about it, but no one will agree to ground rules. What do I do? Jenny, Vancouver

YOUR TWO CENTS …

This is ridiculous! You are in charge, and it’s your responsibility to establish rules around anything your kid does that’s unhealthy. Hours of daily screen time is unhealthy. Our culture may be moving toward technology overload, but you get to choose how things go in your family. Don, North Vancouver

Lead the way, mama! Give your phone a curfew, make your car a no-phone zone (after all, you’re not a taxi, and it’s the price of admission), and use your humour as a way to get them to put down the screens. As for your husband, give him the book Unplugged and let him figure it out for himself! Tracey, Vancouver

MICHELE KAMBOLIS SAYS …

Technology imbalance has fast become one of the primary concerns parents ask me about. Kids as young as seven want cellphones, and babies are learning about the world from the flat screen of an iPad. How do we help them navigate the addictive nature of technology and guide them toward a reasonable balance?

While there is no perfect solution, mindful awareness and parental leadership are key to a healthy relationship with technology.

First, set the intention to help your family navigate their external obsession while acknowledging the good things technology brings. The all-or-nothing approach will only create a rebellion.

Instead, use this as a chance to teach and guide your child toward an understanding of life balance. Ask what kinds of things feel important in creating a full and healthy life. Find out what your kids would like to do more of to hit that happiness sweet spot.

And don’t forget to help them see the benefits of carving out “time in” — after all, a right-brained life really is key to cultivating and strengthening the kind of equilibrium we’re naturally driven toward.

Plant your points like breadcrumbs, tasty bits of information that leave your family following the trail of wisdom and wanting more. A quick briefing on an interesting article on screens and sleep (or lack thereof!), a quick YouTube video on the false intimacy of social media (or antisocial media!), or a viewing of films like Jason Reitman’s Men, Women and Children can leave your family thinking about the impact without you becoming the technology police.

NEXT WEEK’S PARENT TRAP:

My daughter is 21 years old and both she and her friends seem to be all about the “hookup.” None of them are interested in relationships; in fact, they seem relationship-phobic, and they just randomly “hook up” with guys they know (or don’t know). I don’t think they’re respecting themselves, but they don’t seem to care. It’s almost like the girls have taken on a role I’m used to seeing in guys. Can I assume this is 21st century dating and she’ll outgrow it, or do I start to address this with her more seriously? Jill, Vancouver

ADD YOUR TWO CENTS

Share your advice or a Parent Trap of your own by email: mmobile@shaw.ca Read the full series at michelekambolis.com