WHAT CIA THINKS ABOUT CANADA.

Last week, the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency released nearly one million declassified documents online. Spanning an era from the Second World War all the way to the 1990s, the release includes more than 12 million pages of briefings and top-secret cabl

SEE OUR TRADE SHOW!

This is easily the most sycophantic item in the collection. It’s a 1982 letter from the Canadian consulate in Philadelphia, and it’s practically begging the CIA to come to their electronics trade show to buy some “state-of-the-art capability from Canada.” The letter notes that the U.S.-Canadian exchange rate is favourable, Canadians are great to do business with, and that “the location is easy to reach, and ample free parking is available.”

DO THEY CARE I F WE SP Y?

Just as they prepared to fill outer space with spy satellites in the early 1960s, the United States suddenly had a thought: Would any of their friends get suspicious if the night sky was suddenly filled with U.S. espionage satellites? So, the CIA commissioned a report on the “Free World attitudes” toward seeing the night sky filled with U.S. spy satellites. Their conclusion? People are too dumb to care. Reconnaissance satellites are “intrinsically too sophisticated to arouse interest in the general public anywhere.” Even in a civilized place like Canada, “meagre and mostly routine press coverage” assured planners that opposition to spy satellites would be negligible.

CANADA WHO?

While we Canadians may like to assume the U.S. has teams of analysts studying every twist and turn of our frozen dominion, it’s stunning how little the CIA cares about Canada. If Canada was mentioned at all in intelligence briefings, it was in the “if we have time” section near the end — and it often focused on Canada’s adorable attempts to shrug off U.S. “dominance.” A 1963 briefing noted that “Ottawa’s concern with the ‘domination’ question has reached the point of obsession.” The bulletin then advocates “vigorous countermeasures” to set the Canadians straight.

BOMBERS OVER CANADA

If nuclear war had broken out, Canada might have seen some of its cities vaporized for the simple reason that they were easier to bomb. In an early 1960s estimate of Soviet bomber strength, CIA analysts note that the Soviet Union’s vast fleet of medium bombers could only hit U.S. territory in Alaska or Seattle — but they would have their pick of the litter in Canada. Many Canadians have probably not heard of Tiksi, Russia, but the CIA suspected the Arctic city would be the staging ground from which the Soviets would bring nuclear armageddon to Canada.

COUNTING OUR VCRS

There was a time not too long ago that the ability to videotape a TV show was an issue of national security. In the 1950s, home VCRs were still 20 years away, and recording a video could only be done with giant, room-sized machines incorporating nests of reel-to-reel tapes. Just to be sure that the KGB agents weren’t threatening the Free World by pirating Father Knows Best, the United States kept strict tabs on who was buying these proto-VCRs. In Diefenbaker-era Canada, it turned out, we owned 10 of them.

CANADIAN COMMIES

For decades, keeping an eye on communists was a key CIA responsibility. Naturally, this included regular checkins to see how many commies were running around in Canada. In the 1950s, a CIA warning note spoke of a Soviet-led “hemispheric coordination-mechanism” to stir communist action “from Canada to Argentina.” But as the Cold War progressed, Canada turned out to be a pretty disappointing place for a communist. In its 1968 report, “World Strength of the Communist Party Organizations,” CIA analysts wrote that the Communist Party of Canada had “little or no political strength.”

CANADA’ S 9/11

In a chilling note from the 1990s, analysts warn that a French-speaking terrorist may be planning to slip into the United States from Canada in order to crash an explosives-laden “Lear Jet type” aircraft into the U.S. Capitol. The would-be pilot, who was apparently planning to enter the U.S. from Canada on a fake French passport, was said to have a name that sounded like “Jerry, Gerard or Geraldo.” The plot never materialized, of course, but the warning eerily predicts a much more damaging attack only a decade later.

THE GREAT BREAD BASKET

The CIA keeps a close eye on the food supplies of foreign nations. That way, if a war breaks out, they’ll know exactly how many sacks of flour the enemy is working with. In at least two documents, the vast amounts of food being exported from Canada throw a wrench into CIA plans to starve an enemy. A secret 1965 proposal to flood North Vietnam’s rice paddies was offset by the fact that China could have simply fed Vietnam by importing Canadian grain. In 1979, Jimmy Carter’s grain embargo against the U.S.S.R. in retaliation for the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan also lost some of its impact because the Soviets were still bringing in containers of Canadian wheat.

STILL STANDING ON GUARD?

Canada has been phoning in its national defence for quite some time now — and CIA documents express occasional exasperation that their northern neighbour doesn’t really seem to be taking the Cold War seriously. A top-secret 1975 intelligence bulletin noted of Canada that “only Iceland and Luxembourg spend less per capita on their NATO commitments.” In 1980, a secret cable noted that with the Liberal government’s unwillingness to make “hard” budgetary decisions, “Canadian military preparedness could erode further.”

TRUDEAUMANIA IS OVER

Former prime minister Pierre Trudeau is easily the most mentioned Canadian in the released CIA documents, and he usually doesn’t receive the most favourable reviews. A briefing on Canada’s 1972 election noted that “Trudeaumania … has not been apparent this year.” Another 1972 bulletin found it odd that the Liberals had portrayed a man in his late 40s as a “youthful but brilliant playboy.” By 1978, analysts were writing of Trudeau’s “longstanding fascination” with Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, and noting that while many Canadians “dislike and distrust” Trudeau, he still seemed to be the “most able” leader Canada could muster.