Adjust your mindset to meet your goals

Lent is underway, marking an annual attempt to exercise willpower that remains dormant for the rest of the year. It’s defined as the grit of perseverance — so why do some of us have willpower, while others struggle to sacrifice something until Easter?

The answer is simple: our upbringing. If our parents gave us what we wanted with little challenge, that became embedded into our adult behaviour — a serious concern, given that long-term studies show people who possess willpower have greater physical and mental health, fewer criminal convictions, greater financial security and longer-lasting relationships. They are more successful in every walk of life.

The cool, rational response of willpower is to place longer-term gain above immediate temptation, while the hot, emotional response is to indulge or give up. The good news is that a willpower mindset can still be learned. Here’s how:

PAUSE AND PLAN

You’re in a bar with friends who’ve ordered a bottle of wine and poured a glass for you. But you’re not supposed to be drinking. What do you do? To access the upper brain’s cool response, you need to pause and plan, which will stop you from grabbing and gulping.

Pause by relaxing: Take a deep breath, turn from the bar and remind yourself why you are not drinking.

Plan with a strategy: Have a soft drink in a wine glass so it looks the same, or ask your friends for support.

VISUALIZE GOALS

Recent research shows that visualizing a positive outcome is so powerful that you feel you have achieved your goal already. Bring your goals to life by imagining each step to the result — even a list on the fridge can help.

GET THE HABIT

Habits make up 50 per cent of our lives as they save time and effort. They are formed in our early years and live in our lower

brains. Speaking sternly to yourself just doesn’t work: You need to attack habits another way.

Try the three-plus-nine-week willpower rule. Research shows it takes three weeks to establish new behaviour, and a further nine of repetition to make it a habit.

If you want to run a mile every morning, then a pattern must be established. During weeks 1 to 3, alarms may have to be set earlier and the snooze button disabled. In weeks 4 to 6, beware of “extinction bursts,” when the brain looks for ways to reinstate old habits. By weeks 6 to 12, repetition turns your running into an automatic habit.

BECOME A REALISTIC OPTIMIST

Does your inner voice tell you that you’re too fat or too thin, too shy or too busy, too anything to be successful?

Psychologist Martin Seligman has followed optimists and pes- simists for 40 years, finding optimists experienced fewer nasty life events, were less likely to become depressed, were more successful in everything they undertook and lived longer. Believing that you are the initiator of your success engenders optimism.

RELAX

Stress produces cortisol, which has a scouring effect on the brain, robbing you of the ability to respond to things in a measured way. Sleep deprivation is a kind of chronic stress that impairs how the body and brain use energy. The pre-frontal cortex is hit hard, as it loses control over the regions of the brain that create cravings.

Relaxation is therefore crucial for willpower. Try the power minute each day, in which you count your breaths for 60 seconds — 10 to 12 per minute is the average. This can dramatically reduce stress.