Men who are abused have no shelters
Why are there no shelters for fathers and their children fleeing domestic violence?
When he was practising family law and offering legal aid, Leonard Krog often had low-income people come to him for help as they struggled to leave behind abusive spouses.
“My impression as a lawyer was the majority of victims were women, but there were also men who were victims, and children who witnessed violence perpetrated by female partners in relationships,” says Krog, who was elected last year as mayor of Nanaimo after serving 18 years as an NDP MLA.
“I have no desire to be involved in a discussion about what the statistics show (about the portion of males who are victims of spousal violence), but it does exist. And, if it exists, then surely government has a responsibility to fund shelters for men and their children who are fleeing domestic violence.”
Despite North American government data consistently showing men are victims in at least one out of four cases of intimatepartner violence, there are no publicly financed shelters for men and their children in B.C. Or anywhere in Canada.
Yet B.C.’s NDP government announced in December it was going to build 280 more housing units in 12 different communities for women who are victims of domestic violence. The government dubbed it the first stage of Building B.C.: Women’s Transition Fund, a $734-million investment over 10 years to build 1,500 more transition housing, second-stage housing and long-term housing spaces for women and children leaving violence.
When I asked Mitzi Dean, the parliamentary secretary for gender equity who made the announcement, about shelters for males fleeing partner violence, I was directed to a media relations official from the Ministry of Municipal Affairs and Housing.
“The province does not fund shelters for men with their children or transition houses for men because there has not been a demonstrated need for this particular service,” said Melanie Kilpatrick. “Although there are occasional cases of a man fleeing domestic violence, statistics and data support that women are far more likely to be abused and in need of resources.”
Despite the government’s claim there is no “demonstrated need” for shelters, about 26 per cent of the British Columbians who have been killed as a result of domestic violence have been men, according to a B.C. coroner’s report. The report said that in the decade ending in 2014, 113 B.C. women were killed in acts of intimate-partner violence and 40 men.
In addition, Statistics Canada police data shows that, nationwide, 67 per cent of the targets of family violence are women and 33 per cent are men.
The federal government spends roughly $300 million a year on transition shelters for female victims of domestic abuse but not a dollar for such shelters for male victims and their children.
Many scholars maintain the Statistics Canada numbers are low in regards to men because they are based exclusively on official reports to police. And men, because of stigma, are more reluctant than women to inform police they’ve been subjected to abuse.
Kilpatrick, the B.C. Ministry of Housing spokesperson, maintained males who are victims of partner abuse can go to male-only shelters. However, Kilpatrick conceded such fathers will not be allowed into men’s-only shelters if they bring their children with them. That is not the case for mothers seeking a temporary safe place in a transition shelter.
The Nanaimo Men’s Centre, which has been trying for years to persuade the B.C. Liberal and NDP governments to fund shelters for abused fathers and their children, says all the male-only shelters in B.C. are designed for the homeless, mentally ill and addicted. They are often harsh places.
“They’re not shelters for people who are fleeing domestic violence and who have children,” said Krog, who, on behalf of the Nanaimo Men’s Centre, tried to convince both the former B.C. Liberals and his NDP colleagues of the need for shelters for abused males.
Recognizing that the issue of providing shelters for males is controversial and difficult for some to discuss, Krog emphasized he has for decades supported virtually all the women’s organizations in his community, including through personal donations. In addition to opening shelters for males, he believes they should also be available for transgender individuals who struggle with domestic upheaval.
Shelter programs come under provincial and federal jurisdiction. And Theo Boere, who runs Nanaimo’s non-profit support centre for men, said one Vancouver Island client fleeing domestic violence who went to a men’s-only shelter for the homeless and addicted said “it was an insane asylum” where people were screaming in the middle of the night.
“For a man fleeing domestic violence, this can exacerbate their sense of depression, hopelessness and frustration,” Boere said.
Arguing for “proportionality” in shelter funding, Boere recently urged the minister of public safety, Mike Farnworth, and other B.C. politicians to spend $5 million to set up a transition house for males and four centres for men across the province. It’s not happening.
The only real effort comes from the Canadian Centre for Men and Families, which is trying to raise private donations for the first shelter for abused men and children in Toronto.
Psychologists who research intimate-partner violence have found that males are victims far more than indicated by Statistics Canada’s data, which rely on police reports that are more restrictive than independent studies of families.
North Carolina State University Prof. Sara Desmarais, who has a PhD in forensic psychology from Simon Fraser University, led a team that conducted a “meta-analysis” of 249 domesticviolence studies. They found that domestic violence initiated by women is, overall, more prevalent than that started by men.
Men, however, are more reluctant than women to tell police they are victims of intimate-partner violence. Most men are ashamed to admit a woman has physically assaulted them. Many men also correctly fear, as shown in a study by Clark University psychology professor Denise Hines, they will not be believed by police and will be treated as the aggressors.
While Krog emphasized he is not equipped to enter into academic debates about statistics on gender and violence, the lawyer-turned-mayor said it’s clear some men are among those fleeing abuse. The other reality, Krog said, is both women and men looking for government shelter in a domestic storm “are often poor or have no access to money.”
Once one recognizes that domestic violence against men exists, Krog said in the name of “fairness, equality and justice” such men and their children need access to transition shelters.
I have no desire to be involved in a discussion about what the statistics show, but it does exist. And, if it exists, then surely government has a responsibility to fund shelters for men and their children who are fleeing domestic violence. Leonard Krog Nationwide, 67 per cent of the targets of family violence are women and 33 per cent are men.