BIG FAMILY GATHERINGS WILL BE MISSED THIS YEAR
Mashed potatoes for 65.
Iris does either ham or turkey — usually it's turkey. Again, for 65
Jill brings her carrot cake — it wouldn't be a party without Jill's carrot cake.
Several years back, granddaughter Freya found a beat-up piano in the recesses of the church hall and started the tradition of annual piano recitals by the kids. You can count on several choruses of Good King Wenceslas and Jingle Bells, as well.
They now rent a keyboard so that the tradition can continue with somewhat better sound quality, thankfully. Sometimes, there are poetry recitals. Stellar stuff. There's always something the grandkids want to showcase.
It all takes place in the hall next to St. Martin's Church in North Vancouver. They assemble at five. Dinner is at six.
Norman Rockwell would set up an easel if he were still alive.
It's the annual Hawkshaw Extended Family Christmas Dinner.
And it is looking like it's cancelled for 2020.
Every year for the past 12 years, Bruce Hawkshaw hosts a giant potluck dinner for all his relatives on Dec. 23. The 23rd doesn't conflict with much — it's not Christmas Eve, it's not Christmas Day, it's not Boxing Day. It's perfect. The numbers are huge because, as Bruce puts it, he has had the good fortune of falling in love three times in his life.
Bruce was married to his high school sweetheart, Nancy. They had four kids — identical twin daughters and two sons. Nancy died of cancer at age 46.
Eventually, Bruce remarried. They met through their ski club at Whistler. Darcy had two daughters of her own. They had about 10 happy years together before Darcy also succumbed to cancer. In 2011, Bruce married Sandy, who also had kids of her own. Sandy has been on the scene for six of the 10 grandchildren, who range in age from one to 31.
The math on all of this is predictable. The base numbers include the standard batch of relatives. Then the kids married and had kids of their own, and brought in-laws of their own. The numbers swelled. Meting out Christmas appearances became difficult for Bruce. Dinner with one family, breakfast with another, lunch with yet another batch of relatives. Hither and yon, to and fro. To keep track, ledgers were required. Exhausting.
Bruce's dinner became the perfect solution. Everybody brings one side dish. The main components are all supplied. Nobody has to vacuum or put out guest towels. Easy-peasy.
On average, there were about 55 attendees, with the numbers swelling to as high as 65 if, say, Kerry and Alan's relatives are in from Ireland.
Bruce's brother, Dick, and his wife Mary, can be counted on to make the trek in from Chilliwack, and the Schimans will haul themselves down from Cranbrook unless the weather makes the roads impassable. In many cases, this is the sole occasion in the year that the relatives will see one another.
It's a pretty nice event.
It's also a bit of a miracle. Three distinct families and all their trimmings. Nobody was discarded along the way. Bruce tells me that he sometimes calls his wife Sandy by the names of his departed wives, Darcy or Nancy. Sandy doesn't mind. She knows that in Bruce's lexicon, those names are auxiliary words for love. It's all good.
Bruce starts the Hawkshaw Extended Family Christmas Dinner by asking everyone to stand for grace. He asks that the assembled remember the ones who can't be with them on this occasion.
At about this moment, Jill, his firefighter daughter-in-law, rushes up to give Bruce a hug, as this is the moment when he is usually overcome.
And then they sit down to eat. It's a feast.
A feast for more than just their hungry stomachs.
And this year, it probably won't happen.
Damn pandemic.
Jane Macdougall is a freelance writer and former National Post columnist who lives in Vancouver. Her garden is her major distraction during COVID-19. She writes on The Bookless Club every Saturday online and in The Vancouver Sun.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION FOR READERS:
How is the pandemic affecting your family celebrations?
Send your answers by email text, not an attachment, in 100 words or less, along with your full name to Jane at thebooklessclub@gmail.com. We will print some next week in this space.
RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION FOR READERS:
What are the adjustments you are making for the sake of the environment?
I just loved your article about not chopping everything down in the later part of fall. My inner
tidy freak will need to exercise self-restraint to resist the impulse to rake and chop this season. With that being said, let me take this opportunity to say that, other than a poorly functioning air conditioning unit, leaf blowers are the most nail-biting piece of equipment I personally have ever come across. If only one person does not use theirs this year, you will have done a great service to humanity. By the way, my garden has been my greatest solace and respite during the COVID craziness.
Andrea Huszar-wolff
■ It has been my own personal mission to help Mother Nature by removing plastic garbage from the beaches and forest trails I travel, wherever and whenever I have the chance. With eight billion tonnes of plastic having been produced since its invention, that translates to one tonne of plastic per person alive today. It is my hope to at least remove my
own tonne from the natural environment, and dispose of it properly. If we all did this, we would effectively lessen the impact we have on Mother Nature, and the creatures that we share this beautiful planet with. Every little bit counts.
William Rockliffe
■ My spouse is a gardener and very conscious of the environment — no spraying, no lawn watering. Letting our outdoor space go wild would not happen as he supports the work for next year by composting all he mows or cuts back, using the rotted foliage to fill a trench and to provide worms for the birds, when he plants again in the spring. An overabundance of vegetables is given to neighbours or the food bank. He is known as the vegetable man. His diligence is rewarded by the example he sets. But he is not opposed to a beer or wine break, faithfully returning the bottles and beer cans.