A CREATIVE PRANK CAN ADD A LITTLE LUSTRE TO LIFE
Nerf pistol embellished with garland and left anonymously still puzzles
It's a mystery.
Months later, I'm still puzzling over it. Haven't a clue. Late at night, I run through a list of possibilities.
Surely, that was the intention — to make me wonder.
It was on my doorstep right around Christmas. A cheery red gift bag. Inside was a Nerf pistol. Someone had gone to some trouble to embellish the pistol with sparkly garlanding. For some reason, there were dice hot-glued to the pistol. The gift tag showed my name and that the sender was Santa. I didn't recognize the handwriting. There was no revelatory call later. No hint was dropped.
The gift represented several mysteries: Why a Nerf gun? Why was the gun embellished? Did the dice signify something? And, of course, who sent it? It sat on the kitchen counter for a few weeks. Lots of people were shot with the Nerf bullets. The mystery percolated: Who? Why? And, huh?!
I may never know. I was on the receiving end of someone's lark. A lark!
An amusing little adventure. Something done just for fun — often mischievous, always harmless. It's that added bit of intrigue and levity that adds lustre to life. It certainly adds levity to lustreless pandemic life.
I've had a few of my own larks. I was walking on a beach in the Gulf Islands. Bobbing along the water's edge there was a bottle with a piece of paper rolled up inside of it — the proverbial message in a bottle.
I fished the bottle out of the water, took out the cork, and read the letter. It was signed by two boys. If you're guessing boys somewhere around the age of 10, you're exactly right. I knew the boys. They had a cabin on the same cove as mine. The note asked that anyone finding the bottle reply. It was dated from a few days before — the bottle hadn't travelled far at all.
I took the note and the bottle home. I wrote a lengthy reply. I waited a week or so, then asked a friend who was going to Los Angeles to mail the letter to the boys. I said that I'd found the bottle floating in the waters off of L.A. I had them believe their bottle had made its way to California in less than three weeks.
Word got around the bay very quickly that the boys had had the most surprising response to their briny missive. There was talk on the beach about the coriolis effect. The Southern Oscillation was mentioned. You'd have thought our bay had made contact with aliens on the moon. It was a sensation.
I said nothing. In fact, this is the first time I've ever confessed to the prank.
Down the street from me, there was a house with a large ornamental pine.
Someone had placed a single red Christmas ball on one of the boughs. I'm sure I wasn't the only one that noticed this solitary bauble.
A few years ago, I went down to the house and snuck an additional red ball onto their tree. Now there were two. This, I thought gleefully, will baffle them. My plan was to wait several months and then to add another one. In my perfect little world, I imagined other people surreptitiously adding their own red baubles to the tree over time.
No such luck.
Not so long ago, I discovered both red ornaments were gone.
They leave me no choice: I shall have to send them a letter of complaint.
From Los Angeles.
Jane Macdougall is a freelance writer and former National Post columnist who lives in Vancouver. Her garden is her major distraction during COVID-19. She writes on The Bookless Club every Saturday online and in The Vancouver Sun.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION FOR READERS:
Q Have you ever pulled a prank or lark, or been on the receiving end of one?
Send your answers by email text, not an attachment, in 100 words or less, along with your full name to Jane at thebooklessclub@gmail.com. We will print some next week in this space.
RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION:
Q What are the home remedies that you depend upon?
■ During a 20-month-long chemotherapy for breast cancer, I developed mouth sores almost immediately. Someone (can't remember who, thanks to chemo-brain) told me to chew on slices of peeled raw ginger root a couple of times a day. It was very strong and I usually had to spit it out after a couple of minutes, but it worked like a charm. I never had another mouth canker.
Terry Malakoff
■ Yes, Jane, we were told to gargle with salt water as well, but I added my own remedy by sucking on double-salt licorice overnight. That seems to work best for me. My father, however, gave us a spoonful of ginger syrup to soothe our sore throats. I don't know if it took away the soreness, but we liked the sweetness of the remedy.
Bernhard van Velze
■ I swear by oil of oregano for treating infections and inflammation, particularly in the mouth or gums. Whenever I have a periodontal flare-up, I put a few drops on one of those little brushes and push it between my teeth at the sore spots. Works far better than the professional rinse my dentist gave me.
Terri Clark-kveton
■ For a cold, I use vitamin C or echinacea more frequently the first day, like each couple of hours. It's especially important to take before bedtime to help healing. To combat the germs, which love moist mucous membranes, frequent use of eye drops and mouthwash. The occasional pickled jalapeno pepper and its liquid are great. Nose spray, if you have it. The cold is usually gone the next day or two, whereas in the past it invariably lasted two weeks.
Masako Stillwell
■ So many people think I'm masochistic (my husband included), but here is my remedy from my mother. Got a tickle in your throat, achy feeling, know you are calling in sick? You'll need a strip of flannel, a washcloth and a safety pin. Get the washcloth wet with cold water, but don't wring it out all the way. Wrap it around your throat and hold in place with the flannel. Use the safety pin to make sure it stays secure all night. In the morning, the cloth will be warm and your throat will be oh so much better. There is science to this, and I haven't had a sore throat for years.
Anna Vanderlende
■ I had some warts on my fingers when I was a young boy. Don't know where they came from. My mom told me I could get rid of them by using fresh spit. So every morning, I would get up, go to the bathroom, and sit there waiting while a drop of my spit evaporated on each one. Sound crazy? It worked! I've never had warts since. Voodoo, or mother power?
Louis Vulliez
■ My mother, her seven sisters and myself all suffered from this restless leg syndrome. It can also be called Willis Ekbom Disease, but we just called it leg jerk disease as it disturbs our sleep. The remedy: buy a bar of Ivory soap and place it under your fitted sheet near your feet. You can laugh, but it has worked for all of us. I don't know why it is effective, but, hey, it has no side-effects, so why not give it a try? I change the bar every three to four months.