Good, but not `crazy good'
Seinfeld-led flick a fun and forgettable remake of the story behind Pop-tarts
UNFROSTED
★★★ out of 5
Cast: Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Feresten, Andy Robin
Director: Jerry Seinfeld
Duration: 1 h 33 m
Unfrosted may be the platonic ideal of the Netflix movie: ephemeral, edible, enjoyable, forgettable.
It's essentially Jerry Seinfeld inviting everyone in his Rolodex to come on over for an extended hang to parody the current craze for trademark biopics — you know, those corporate biographies of beloved or nostalgic brands: Air Jordan, Blackberry, Tetris, Flamin' Hot, et al. Unfrosted gives them the Mad magazine treatment — lightly roasted with a lot of nuts.
While this is hardly the real story of how Pop-tarts were launched into the world by the Kellogg's breakfast cereal company in 1964, it's also not NOT the story. There was a rivalry between Kellogg's and Post Cereal, both of Battle Creek, Mich., and there was a Marjorie Merriweather Post, a visionary business executive and one of the few female CEOS of her day. But she almost certainly did not look or act like Amy Schumer, who plays her in Unfrosted.
Nor was there an Edsel Kellogg (Jim Gaffigan), the hapless heir to the cornflakes empire, or a go-getter Kellogg's product development VP named Bob Cabana (Seinfeld). And Thurl Ravenscroft, who voiced Tony the Tiger, was not a pretentious British thespian — but that hardly matters when it's Hugh Grant in the striped suit.
Directed by Seinfeld and written by him with Barry Marder (Bee Movie) as well as Seinfeld scribes Spike Feresten and Andy Robin, Unfrosted is breezily silly stuff, very much in the star's wheelhouse of early '60s TV and pop culture references. An early scene takes place at the (fictional) Bowl and Spoon Awards — “the night that cereal salutes itself” — where Kellogg's cleans up in such categories as easiest to open wax bag and best use of niacin. But the Post CEO and her chief minion (Max Greenfield) have a breakthrough product in R&D: a jam-filled pastry called Country Squares. (That part is true, actually.) Desperate to beat Post to market, Edsel and Bob launch an effort to come up with a “breakfast dingus” of their own. (Also true, more or less.)
Melissa Mccarthy plays a loose-cannon breakfast scientist (not true) who hires celebrity “taste pilots” (didn't happen) to develop the rival treat; they include exercise maven Jack Lalanne (James Marsden), ice cream purveyor Tom Carvel (Adrian Martinez), bike manufacturer Steve Schwinn (Jack Mcbrayer) and Chef Boy Ardee (Bobby Moynihan). Not true times four, but I'm sure you get a sense of the cheerfully crowded stateroom that is this movie.
Unfrosted treats its cameo appearances as a game of whacka-mole, and while there are some that are just too good to spoil, I can say that Christian Slater is quite scary as the chief milkman enforcer for the Organized Milk cartel and comedian Bill Burr as JFK wears his Boston accent and fraudulent toupee with civic pride.
Kellogg's did get Pop-tarts to grocery stores first, where they sold out in two weeks. Unfrosted suggests that Nikita Khrushchev and the Cuban sugar crisis (a real thing) may have played a part. And this antic comedy confection — made with “double the sugar and triple the gluten,” to quote one of the characters — tastes g-r-r-r-reat! (Well, more like pretty good.)