Readers share more tales about loss of beloved pets
This is the second part of readers’ responses to a grief-stricken petowner whose dog was fatally attacked by a maltreated pit-bull (March 14):
Reader No. 1: “We lost our Golden to natural causes at 12 1/2 — a sudden major heart attack. At the park, he suddenly dropped into a sphinx position.
“My husband came with a garden wagon and brought him home. Some friends arrived and I greeted them briefly. When I went to check on our dog, he was gone, left alone for his last breaths. I should’ve stayed with him.
“We had a memorial Sugar Maple tree planted in his park. On a bench across a small stream; I can go there and think about my dog.”
Reader No. 2: “I had to put down my 10-year-old cat; it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’d volunteered, and still do, at my local animal shelter, primarily with cats. Five months after I put my cat down, I met a beautiful eight-year-old cat there, adopted him, and I still have him.
“It might be good for “Grieving in Chicago” to volunteer at a local animal shelter — always so appreciative of help given by volunteers, especially dog walkers. It’d be good therapy for your reader to be in direct contact with animals, and it’s also good for the animals to be socialized.”
Reader No. 3: “Our cat had been with us 17 years. Inevitably, we had to decide: be selfish and keep her because we love her; or release her from her pain because we love her.
“As humans, we can express our discomfort, but animals are hard-wired differently to still greet us with a loud purr or a wagging tail despite their suffering. So, to give the instruction to end the life of a beloved “family member” was extremely traumatic — something that remains with me despite the passage of six-plus years.
“Modern society has conditioned us to avoid talking or thinking about death. It gets really complicated when involving a pet’s death. Why? Because many don’t understand the human-pet bond, and so will unfairly or harshly judge the grief. This makes it tricky to properly grieve that loss. All of your habits and routines that had once included the pet, no longer do.
“Here’s what I did to deal with my grief: I found several books on pet loss, notably The Loss of a Pet — A Guide to Coping with the Grieving Process when a Pet Dies by Wallace Sife, PhD.
“According to Dr. Sife, bringing an animal into your life means you’ve contracted to become a steward for their total needs — but this also includes your needs. Fortunately, I received flowers and condolences from understanding friends and family who did recognize the significance of my loss.
“There are many ways to honour your pet’s memory: make a donation to the humane society or a pet club, plant a tree or shrub in your garden, commission a pet portrait, post a tribute on a virtual pet cemetery, etc. I searched out old photo albums and created a new one solely of my beloved cat. It was something constructive while granting me the time and escape necessary to deal with the loss.