Spider-Man reboot No. 3 shape of things to come
In “Back to the Future Part II” — set 30 years after the 1985 original — Michael J. Fox’s character walks by a holographic billboard advertising the latest big screen blockbuster, “Jaws 19.”
That movie was set in 2015. And while the filmmakers picked the wrong film — because “Jaws” never got past a third sequel — their instincts were right on the mark.
“Spider-Man: Homecoming,” marks the seventh “Spider-Man” film in 15 years, if you include his cameo in “Captain America: Civil War,” and the second series reboot.
It may not be a record for the number of films from one franchise — “Rocky” and “Star Wars” beat it hands down, as does “Harry Potter.”
But in terms of squashed together reboots, it’s off the map.
“Planet of the Apes” has been rebooted twice in 49 years, with a minimum gap of 10 years, “Star Trek” was rebooted once on the big screen, with a 25-year hiatus before the same characters reappeared with different actors.
“Star Wars” reset its dial after a 10-year break.
And while “Batman” has been rebooted four times, there were long stretches in between, with the smallest gap between “The Dark Knight Rises” (2012) and “Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” (2016).
But three “Spider-Man” reboots, with three actors playing three geeky superheroes battling crime in three separate universes — spaced five and
two years apart — is something of a record.
I was still processing that Tobey Maguire in the original “Spider-Man” series (2002-07) had been replaced by Andrew Garfield in “The Amazing Spider-Man” (2012-14) when — POW! — he was replaced by Tom Holland in the current “SpiderMan: Homecoming,” mouthing the same platitudes about reinventing the character his predecessors had mouthed only a few years earlier.
“In this movie you see him learn so much,” the 21-year-old Brit told screenrant.com, saying nothing remotely original.
“You see him really enjoying his powers, really getting to grips with what he can do and just experimenting throughout the movie. But then through a turn of events, things happen, and it becomes a real serious matter. Then all of a sudden his powers become a bit of a burden.”
I don’t mean to be cynical, but is Hollywood being controlled by the robots from “Westworld”?
And don’t get me started on critics, supposed arbiters of artistic integrity who laud each new instalment as if it’s the Second Coming.
“It’s hard to recall the last time a big ticket summer movie delivered so fully on its promise!” raved the Portland Oregonian in its 100 per cent review of the 2002 original.
“Just about the truest and most satisfying screen adaptation most anyone could have ever hoped for!” echoed Film Threat.
“An exuberance, a celebration, a hoot, a kick and a half !” cried The Washington Post.
Jump to 2012’s “The Amazing SpiderMan” with Andrew Garfield.
“Not just a reboot — it’s a rejuvenation!” proclaimed the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
“It’s dark and mysterious, but doesn’t skimp on fun!” trilled The New York Daily News.
“Meet the new face of superheroes: Marc Webb’s totally teenage and totally fun take on the Spider Man franchise!” trumpeted Box office Magazine.
And on to the current “Spider-Man: Homecoming” with Tom Holland:
“Here’s a franchise you’d think had been done to death and yet ‘Spider Man: Homecoming’ feels fresh and new!” praised The New York Post in its 100 per cent review.
“Hilariously infectious and full of hope, Spider-Man’s return to Marvel couldn’t be more welcome!” exploded Total Film.
“Tom Holland IS the best Spider-Man,” crows Rolling Stone, which said virtually the same thing about both Maguire and Garfield.
Personally, I liked all three: Maguire for his pimply determination, Garfield for his brooding intensity and Holland — the most comical — for channelling “Back to the Future’s” Michael J. Fox to such amusing effect.
“You can’t tell anybody!” he pleads when a friend discovers his secret identity. “If Aunt May thinks people are trying to kill me every single night, she’s not gonna let me do this!”
He’s whimsically hilarious, earnestly declaring “Spider-Man is not a party trick!” even as the film’s six screenwriters pull him in six absurdly different directions.
But how many times can you draw from the same well, creatively?
In a universe of imminent possibility, how many Spider-Mans are enough?
“I’m like ‘You make it all you want,” Kirsten Dunst, who played Mary Jane in the 2002 original, told Marie Claire. “They’re just milking that cow for money. It’s so obvious.”
It’s no joke. Spider-Man, with its revolving door of lead actors, has become the teen idol of movie franchises.
Maguire, when he kicked things off in 2002, was like David Cassidy in 1971.
On top of the world one minute — a cultural tent-pole, an institution — displaced by the Bay City Rollers the next.
They, of course, were knocked off their pedestal by David’s half-brother, Shaun Cassidy, who was kicked to the curb by Andy Gibb, followed by Rick Springfield, the Brat Pack, the Two Coreys and so on all the way to Justin Bieber.
“Spider-Man” — in its quest for perpetual teenage-hood — is the self-immolating franchise that never says die.
“We are looking at a five-movie storyline,” Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige told The Toronto Sun, revealing his evil plan for world domination.
‘“Captain America: Civil War’, ‘Homecoming,’ ‘Avengers: Infinity War,’ untitled Avengers, ‘Homecoming 2’ — or whatever we end up calling it — is an amazing five-story journey for Peter Parker.
“In the way that the events of ‘Civil War’ directly inform the opening of ‘Homecoming’ and his state of mind as he goes back to high school, so too will the events of the next two Avengers movies as he continues with high school.
“This original 22-movie (Marvel superhero) arc ends with the untitled ‘Avengers’ in May of 2019 and then two months later it will be Peter and SpiderMan that usher us into the aftermath and how things proceed from there.”
Not only is this about the most boring thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, it speaks to the mentality of Hollywood suits who think in terms of sales trajectories and growth potential, secure in the knowledge they can brainwash audiences into accepting whatever regurgitated moosh that serves their bottom line. It wasn’t always this way. There was a time when disruption and resistance were tools of the trade, when provocative films like “Mean Streets” and “Network” — original properties with no franchise commitments — could boldly chart their own path with wide audience support.
In cinematic terms, they were mad as hell and they weren’t gonna take it anymore.
Even populist blockbusters like 1985’s “Back to the Future” and 1982’s “E.T.” — which no one talked about as art in their day — stood on their own terra firma, different than what came before, accorded critical respect decades later.
And why not?
If Hollywood had decided to remake the same movie over and over back then, not only would we have “Jaws 19” today, we’d probably have six reboots of “Herbie Rides Again” — with a Smart car filling in for the original Volkswagen — and “Apocalypse Now, Apocalypse Forever,” in which Colonel Kurtz reintegrates into society as a high school gym teacher who comically needles the fat kid.
“To argue that there’s plenty of other superhero movies with levity in the marketplace, so why make more Spider-Man movies, would be akin to saying there’s no room for James Bond films because of all the espionage film and franchises,” Sony exec Jeff Robinov argued in a leaked email.
“There will always be room for this beloved, iconic hero.”
The sad thing is, he’s probably right.