The Herculean challenges of aging
Eyes, ears, memory and mobility — all suffer the indignities of age
Seeing an elderly gentleman in a nonmotorized wheelchair, inching along the sidewalk with his feet and wearing a red crash helmet perched on his head, gave me something to ponder. From my own observances and experiences, it seems that aging presents Herculean challenges that require resources and reserve to overcome. How does one accept and cope with what occurs in the wake of aging to make life worth living?
My octogenarian husband, Ken, is a prime example. He now requires 12 pills per day to control his many maladies. He deserves a medal for soldiering on, seldom complaining. He tolerates the constant pain from his osteoarthritis as part of his daily life.
While Ken’s Parkinson’s disease has fortunately not deteriorated much after 18 years, he is still required to make adjustments to deal with the tremors in his hands. A good friend lengthened his putter to steady his golf stroke. He uses a spoon while eating to avoid catapulting his food across the room. At the pub, he orders a half a pint of beer in a full pint glass. Too often his hand has made a jerking movement that sent the liquid erupting like a fountain.
Short-term memory loss creates its own provocations. Relating a nature show he had watched on TV., Ken explained: “It showed these fishes … you know, the ones that look like waiters!” (Penguins) According to Ken, researchers discovered that the penguins went in search of shoals of artichokes.” This didn’t sound right to me. Ken expanded:” You know the little fish I like on my pizza.” (Anchovies)
I guess this isn’t as bad as the story I heard of one husband who dialed 911 to report a strange woman in his shower. His wife emerged and told the responders that her husband suffered from the dreaded dementia. I guess she was relieved no one charged into the shower to arrest her.
On the subject of memory, one of the biggest gripes in our lives is the numerous passwords we need to access almost everything we do these days ad nauseam. We drive our son-in-law, Shaun, bonkers with our failure to remember our passwords.
Being a real techy, he endeavoured to overcome our “password” dilemma. His solution — a new 1 Password App that is essentially a “vault” for all your passwords. Ken and Shaun bandied around different suggestions to come up with a memorable password to access the vault.
Not long after this setup, Ken decided to check the vault. He actually asked me: “What is our new password?”
I looked at him blankly.
“You mean you didn’t write it down?” I asked.
“You were there too,” he added. Memory is not our only problem. Hearing is presenting difficulties too. Watching TV, we wondered why everyone seems to be whispering. Selective hearing happens these days. For instance, I yelled down the passage the other day to share what I had come across on the internet:
“Did you know that Susan Boyle is going to be in a movie?”
Ken replied: “What’s that about boiling oil?”
Ken’s sight has also been jeopardized since he suffered a mini stroke and lost the use of one eye. We thought his driving days would be over. However, it turned out that it is perfectly legal to drive with one good eye.
I felt I was blessed to have reached my reverent age without any major medical setback until I was felled with a stroke with barely two seconds warning that something was amiss. My head felt like it had exploded and my legs gave way. As I clung to the kitchen counter, I thought: “Wow! Just like that your life is over.” But I survived.
After 10 days in hospital, I returned home with a walker. However, I wouldn’t appear in public with it. I had my image to consider.
Miraculously, after two tough months, I was back on the golf course. However, the impact from this unexpected jolt gave me plenty of time to consider my future. Would there be any more intrepid pursuits to satisfy my yearning for adventurous and fulfilling experiences? I felt depleted and vulnerable.
It occurred to me that perhaps I had reached the stage in life where I needed to accept my age and be grateful that I have had the privilege of growing old. I planned to settle for simpler pleasures and enjoy my family and friends more.
Then again I might be kidding myself, as the longing for another quest is beginning to stir. There must be life in the old girl yet.