COVID busts through the defences

After more than two years of living a careful, maybe a little fearful, pandemic existence, COVID has at last caught up with me.

I was feeling invincible. And now I feel stupid. And weak. And congested. And I have a slight headache. Bit of a fog. Could fall asleep any moment now. And not so invincible. Very vincible, really.

How did this happen? Why? I was always so careful.

Remember in March 2020 when it was just kind of starting to feel like this coronavirus might be a thing? I remember those days well. I remember seeing the news reports of a potential pandemic and I remember it gave me serious concern. So serious that when I flew to the Dominican Republic that March, I packed lots of hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes. I used them to clean my tray table on the plane. My wife did not. She said it made her feel too snooty.

I remember being so concerned about coronavirus back then that when the stranger sitting next to me offered to let me reach my hand into the bag of cookies she was eating, I declined, even though I really, really wanted a cookie.

I remember in the airport walking past a little coffee kiosk and seeing the display of muffins sitting out in the open air. Customers were welcome to simply choose a muffin, pick it up, pay for it and eat it. And I said, “Nope.”

We were right on the edge of this thing and we had no idea what was about to hit us.

After a great vacation and a flight home that felt more than just a little bit eerie, our world changed.

We did all the right things. We, meaning me. And lots of other people.

I stayed home. In fairness, I love staying home. I followed the arrows in the stores perfectly and I gave very dirty looks to people who didn’t follow them.

For the good of society, I did curbside pickup. My favourite curbside pickup was the local brewery. You could phone in an order and, when you went to pick up, you just popped your trunk and a guy in a full hazmat suit came and put your beer in your car. It was super weird at first but then it felt super normal and now it feels even more weird than ever, in reflection.

I wore my mask too. I never made a fuss. I didn’t mind it. I still don’t mind it. I like the idea of being slightly incognito and, oh ya, protected from a virus.

Looking back, I’m still in shock that we allowed the use of masks for the good of all of us to become a political issue. And, in hindsight, why didn’t we just change the message from, “Please wear a mask” to, “You’re not allowed to wear a mask.”

Would that instantly have turned anti-maskers into antianti-maskers? Don’t overthink it. Yes, it would have.

I left my groceries in the garage overnight to let all the germs dissipate, evaporate or skedaddle before bringing them in the house. I didn’t get COVID. I did get food poisoning three times. Probably should have brought the chicken inside.

And I got vaccinated. Three times. I was due for my fourth just before I succumbed to the virus.

All that work, all those precautions, all those skipped cookies, and for what? I have COVID.

I let my guard down. Just because the rules of society told me I didn’t have to wear a mask anymore and that it was perfectly safe to gather with a few hundred people in a bar to watch the stupid Leafs lose stupid Game 7 to stupid Tampa, I did it.

I was acting like it was preMarch 2020 all over again. No mask, no arrows, no curbside pickup. I’ve been dining in restaurants, attending office potlucks and breathing shared air.

That’s how easy it is to get sick, still. That’s all I’m saying. I count myself lucky. I have not enjoyed my week with COVID but I’m fine. I know not everyone will get off so lightly. Lesson learned.

Maybe still wear a mask. Keep yourself safe. And please, don’t leave chicken in the garage.