He ‘kept Windsor in his heart’
Family thankful for kind words
The Rt. Hon. Herb Gray officially retired from federal politics in 2002 — but you wouldn’t have known it from his private life, say those closest to him.
“It was so part of his being,” his wife of 47 years, Sharon Sholzberg-Gray, said on Tuesday.
“Herb was never cynical. He thought, right to the end, that politics was the highest calling. To be elected by your community, to serve your community and Canadians — it was the most important thing anyone could do.”
Due to the family’s observance of Passover, funeral arrangements for the 82-year-old former deputy prime minister could not be made until after dusk on Tuesday. Details still need to be confirmed, but the Jewish service will take place in Ottawa Thursday or Friday.
Asked about a state service, Sharon replied: “People have been talking about it, but no — we’re having our own.”
Although unsure of how much seating will be available, Sharon said the family would welcome any public figures or former public figures who wish to pay their respects.
“Frankly, I’m amazed by the reaction,” she said.
“Memories are very fleeting, and Herb left politics 12 years ago. I don’t know why, but it never occurred to me that people would remember all the good things he did, and his qualities.”
Despite Gray’s medical issues — he faced esophageal cancer in the 1990s, as well as a heart condition and Parkinson’s disease in recent years — Sharon said his death on Monday still came as something of a surprise.
She said her husband watched last month’s release of the 2014 federal budget with keen interest and was discussing policy as recently as two weeks ago.
“During budget night ... after he heard the speech, he said: ‘Holy cow — I have a better prescription for the economy.’ And he started giving me his whole list of things that he would do, given the chance,” Sharon recalled.
But in mid-April, at the couple’s home in the Alta Vista suburbs of Ottawa, Gray suddenly collapsed and needed to be hospitalized.
It was found that Gray’s heart and kidneys were failing. A decision was made not to undertake major interventions.
Sharon said Gray spent 10 days in the intensive care unit before passing on “peacefully and comfortably,” in the presence of family.
“It was myself, my son (Jonathan) and my daughter (Elizabeth) by his side. And he was speaking to us up until an hour before he passed away,” she said.
“The fact that he didn’t suffer was really important.”
Sharon said her husband was also gratified to be visited during his final days by some of his eight grandchildren — those who were old enough. “We didn’t think the ones under five years old should go to the hospital,” she explained.
“But the ones who were older, they were able to go. And he was chatting with them, thrilled, and saying ‘Look how beautiful they are.’ And, of course, they were.”
According to Sharon, Gray at home was much as he was on Parliament Hill: The issues of the country were constantly on his mind. Ethics, public good and democratic process weren’t just platitudes, but convictions.
“I mean, it’s no secret he was a liberal Liberal,” Sharon said. “He believed in a society where people care about each other, share with each other, give people opportunities ... He never stopped caring about those things. He talked about those things, right to the end.”
The couple moved to Ottawa permanently in 2002, following Gray’s retirement. But Sharon said her husband kept Windsor in his heart.
“The people of Windsor gave him the chance — by electing him 13 times — to serve them. Which was truly magical, and wonderful, and beyond belief. He spent his entire life giving that back.”
One thing that Gray had no interest in, Sharon admits, was social media.
Nevertheless, she’s astonished and grateful that so many Canadians on social media have responded so respectfully and generously to his passing.
“He would’ve loved the good press,” she added with a laugh. “He was modest — but, like any politician, he loved good press.”