Car wash fundraiser honours memory of teen

Seven years after losing her only sibling in a deadly car accident, 18-year-old Darla McLennan still misses her brother Dylyn and thinks of him often.

She and her mother Robin worked under cloudless skies on Saturday afternoon to bring light out of a tragic situation while “paying it forward” at a car wash fundraiser in Colchester.

Dylyn died in a rollover crash in 2008 when he was 16. As the driver of the vehicle, his father was found guilty of dangerous driving causing death.

“He would always say, ‘Don’t worry, be happy,’ so I always try to focus on the positive because I know that I’ll see him again,” said Darla.

She and Robin will be donating $466 raised at the car wash to Griefworks, a counselling program they used for a year after her brother’s death.

Offered at the Windsor-Essex branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association, Griefworks provides specialized support to bereaved families to help them cope with trauma.

“I don’t really remember much because I tried to block it out. From what I do remember, it was a very welcoming atmosphere,” said Darla, who was 11 when Dylyn died. “My counsellor was very sweet and it was comforting to talk to her. It helped me cope with it and realize it’s going to be OK.”

Now living with her father after her parents’ separation, Darla strives to stay strong and be supportive for her family. “My dad blames himself, but we don’t like to talk about it. We know we’re there for each other if we need to be. After all this time, court is still going on so we have to deal with that constant reminder.”

Darla’s six-year-old nephew, named after Dylyn, has also helped keep a smile on her face through it all.

“When my brother passed away his girlfriend was pregnant. My nephew has definitely helped me get through it a lot. He’s the spitting image of him.”

For Robin, her pain lessens with time as she tries to move forward.

“It’s a process. I was angry and went into hiding because everyone felt sorry for me. It’s like, ‘Don’t feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my husband, he’s the one who got charged.’ He should never ever have been charged,” she said.

“Time heals all wounds. It’s been seven years, and look at me now,” Robin added, tears streaming down her face.

She said organizing the car wash has been part of the family’s recovery process. They hope the donation will help Griefworks support other families in need.

“It’s all about paying it forward and helping others,” said Robin. “The worst thing anyone can go through in life is losing a child. But we have to keep talking and keep his memory alive.”