This Way Up


ZOOMER Magazine - - CONTENTS - By Mike Criso­lago

Peaks and val­leys in the jour­ney

And mil­len­ni­als thought it was awk­ward when their grand­par­ents made the foray into so­cial me­dia Re­port­ing in 2008 on the Ja­panese porn in­dus­try high­lights one of its fastest-grow­ing sec­tors – “sil­ver porn,” fea­tur­ing sep­tu­a­ge­nar­ian per­form­ers.

In 2012, sci­en­tists re­veal the venom of the ba­nana spi­der has a sim­i­lar ef­fect as Vi­a­gra, of­fer­ing a more “or­ganic” so­lu­tion for erec­tile is­sues This, of course, gives a whole new mean­ing to “My spidey sense is tin­gling.”

The mo­ment when you re­al­ize that the kid from The Sixth Sense is now tech­ni­cally in Madonna’s dat­ing pool Madonna, who turns 60 in 2018, claimed last year that she dates men 30 years her ju­nior.

David Fos­ter to Madonna: “Hold my beer” In July, the four-times di­vorced Cana­dian mu­sic pro­ducer, 68, got en­gaged to Amer­i­can Idol run­nerup Katharine McPhee who, at 34, is younger than four of his five daughters.

Let’s get it on ... ex­cept, ap­par­ently, in Nor­way A sur­vey of se­niors’ sex habits in se­lect Euro­pean coun­tries shows that male Por­tuguese se­niors proved the most sex­u­ally ac­tive while Nor­we­gian se­niors prac­tised the most, shall we say, “self-love.”

Ear­lier this year, Jane Fonda, 80, tells Van­ity Fair, “I’m not dat­ing any­more ... I’m 80. I’ve closed up shop down there” Which, in hind­sight, ex­plains her re­cent ap­pli­ca­tion for Nor­we­gian cit­i­zen­ship.

Of course, you re­mem­ber when Je­sus said, “Love thy neigh­bour ... un­less they’re gay” A les­bian cou­ple, aged 68 and 72, sues a se­niors com­mu­nity af­ter be­ing de­nied res­i­dence on re­li­gious grounds due to their sex­u­al­ity.

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