A Measured Response

As a father of two children, an 8-year old boy a 3-year old girl, I read a lot of stories from media about children being bullied and in the worst case scenario driven to suicide. These stories make me reflect on how my children would react when being bullied. At home I encourage my children to share whether they have experienced bullying when they interact with other children at or outside school. However, if I was to learn that my child is being bullied, the first reaction would be to get angry at the bully and their parents. I have seen many aggrieved parents angrily confront the parents of a bully. However, instead of resolving the problem, this approach usually ends up worsening the situation.

I would therefore let the natural anger subside and then attempt to get more details from my child on the types of bullying they were facing, such as physical assault, verbal abuse or having their possessions forcibly taken by the bully. With this knowledge, I would take three steps in attempting to stop the bullying. The first would be to teach my child to stand up to the bully. In doing this, I would not want my child to get involved in physical fights with the bully, but learn that they also have the power to say no to the bully. The second would be to advise my child to always report any case of bullying to their teacher if it is at school and to us, the parents, at home.

Lastly, I would probably seek to constructively engage the parents of the bullying child personally or through the efforts of the school administration. This is not an easy task because it is natural for a parent to get angry after learning that their child is being bullied; it is also natural for a parent to come to the defense of their child when accused of bullying. It is therefore important that the engagement process be guided by reason and not emotions.