Fo­cus on what you can change

Global Times – Metro Beijing - - TWOCENTS -

Lind­say mar­ried into my aunt’s fam­ily five years ago ( Pri­vacy or fil­ial pi­ety? May 3). When WeChat started to be­come pop­u­lar among se­nior cit­i­zens, our fam­ily mem­bers be­friended each other in a big fam­ily WeChat group. The at­mos­phere in the WeChat group al­ways seemed har­mo­nious un­til I saw a cyn­i­cal WeChat Mo­ments post from my cousin-in­law, Lind­say, about my aunt.

Ob­vi­ously, she blocked my aunt from see­ing her Mo­ments. But she might not have ex­pected that other fam­ily mem­bers would see the post and find out that she was speak­ing bad words be­hind her mother-in-law’s back.

I usu­ally hear com­plaints from my mar­ried friends about their moth­ers-in-law. They say they would ap­pear too aloof if they do not add their moth­ers-in-law on WeChat and that af­ter adding them, they hes­i­tate when they want to post some­thing on their WeChat Mo­ments.

I think all this awk­ward­ness and block­ing are a re­sult of the nat­u­ral “emo­tional gap” be­tween daugh­ters-in-law and moth­ers-in-law. Based on Chi­nese tra­di­tion, young peo­ple should first show re­spect to their el­ders and a har­mo­nious re­la­tion­ship is grounded on mu­tual un­der­stand­ing and com­pro­mise. In­stead of think­ing hard about how to block your mother-in-law from in­ter­ven­ing in your cy­ber life, why not use the time to im­prove your re­la­tion­ship with her? Katherin Hu, by e-mail

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