‘Chi­nese Ad­vent’

Global Times – Metro Beijing - - TWO CENTS - By Michael Hand­ford

With Christ­mas a few days away, the Ad­vent cal­en­dar, a cal­en­dar used by Chris­tians to re­mem­ber the mean­ing of Christ­mas, popped into my brain like an old hol­i­day jin­gle. The Ad­vent cal­en­dar has 25 flaps rep­re­sent­ing the days from De­cem­ber 1 to 25, and a child opens a flap on each day of the cal­en­dar to dis­cover a pic­ture or words de­pict­ing some­thing sym­bolic of Christ­mas.

This cal­en­dar has evolved in the West with even many non-Chris­tian chil­dren or teens who use it to find more than a pic­ture in each day of their cal­en­dars, such as money, beauty products, or other gifts to ease the an­tic­i­pa­tion of the hol­i­day. As an Amer­i­can who’s lived in Bei­jing for over three months, I’ve de­cided to per­son­ally cre­ate my own “Chi­nese Ad­vent” cal­en­dar based on some re­cently picked up Chi­nese slang ter­mi­nol­ogy that will be gifted to me on each of the “lucky eight days” un­til Santa ar­rives. Listed be­low is what I ex­pect!

De­cem­ber 17: Yinx­ing pinkun (in­vis­i­ble poverty) – This is my feeling ev­ery time Mon­day draws the cur­tain and Tues­day awakes me with a fresh slap in the face with beam­ing rays of vi­ta­min-filled sun­shine. Feel me?

De­cem­ber 18: Foxi (Bud­dha chill) – Float­ing through the thoughts of mistle­toe and rein­deer hooves car­ry­ing ec­cen­tric elves, there’s noth­ing to worry about.

De­cem­ber 19: Honghuangzhili (fic­tional power) – A Jackie Chan hand­shake is all I need to boost me through this day.

De­cem­ber 20: Meng­mengda (cute) – Jin­gle me through the cheer of feeling big­ger than Bieber.

De­cem­ber 21: Zhuyao kan yanzhi (unique) – My eyes are just a dis­guise for re­al­ity.

De­cem­ber 22: Hold zhu (hold on) – Squeeze the grape un­til it ex­plodes.

De­cem­ber 23: Guanx­uan (of­fi­cial an­nounce­ment) – Break­ing news, kisses and hand­shakes, but give me knowl­edge.

De­cem­ber 24: Jinli (lucky fish) – Shark, salmon or sword­fish, swim­ming through the sleep­less eve of Christ­mas, my luck is jus­ti­fied.

De­cem­ber 25: Li­uli­uliu and Xiaochu zhu­jiao (eas­ily suc­ceed and laugh like a pig) – Thanks to what I’ve in­her­ited, to­day is the day I trans­fer the love back to the peo­ple who mat­ter most and laugh un­til my belly is as pink as pork belly mixed with Santa’s cheeks.

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