The World of Chinese
YOU'VE GOT QUESTIONS? SHE'S GOT ANSWERS (BUT YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE THEM)
Dear Ayi, I’m a Tiger, and this is my year! I’ll be super lucky in 2022, right?
Tommy the Tiger
You 虎 (hǔ, tiger) people, so自大 (zìdà, self-important) and盲目乐观 (mángmù lèguān, blindly optimistic)! Haven't you ever heard of the phrase “物极必反 (wùjí bìfǎn, things turn in the opposite direction when they reach an extreme)?” On the contrary, your本命年 (běnmìngnián, zodiac year) is a坎儿 (kǎnr, hurdle). You'll feel that诸事不顺 (zh$shì búshù, nothing goes smoothly) in your life. The promotion you wished for?没门儿 (Méiménr, No way)! Don't put your money in the stock market; you will only 破财 (pòcái, lose money). Luckily, I can help you 转运 (zhuǎnyùn, turn your luck around): just order some red socks and red underwear from my直播间 (zhíbōjiān, livestreaming account) for very reasonable prices—a charitable side business of mine to spread 吉祥 (jíxiáng, auspiciousness). With them, you'll 逢凶化吉 (féngxiōng huàjí, turn calamities into blessings) in any situation!
I’m so excited about the Winter Olympics! Do you follow the Games?
Of course! As a老北京 (lǎo Běijīng, old Beijinger), I am an expert in winter sports. That's why I have to ask, what the hell is冰壶 (bīnghú, curling)? Even I can参赛 (cānsài, enter the competition) with my decades of experience in拖地 (tuōdì, mopping floors)! And why is冬泳 (dōngyǒng, winter swimming), a proud 传统 (chuántǒng, tradition) of northern China, not a Winter Olympic sport?! Just head to moats and rivers in Beijing on a freezing day, and those tough大爷大妈 (dàye dàmā, grandpa and grandma) swimmers will teach you the true奥运精神 (Àoyùn jīngshén, Olympic spirit)! While they're at it, they should also add冰车 (bīngchē, a wooden cart with blades on ice) and冰尜 (bīnggá, spinning tops on ice with a whip) to the Games, both traditional northern Chinese sports, and call it the中国两项 (Zhōnggu5 liǎng xiàng, Chinese Biathlon)! Then I'll really be excited
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