What Circle of Hell is This?
ATM a Dangerous Predator
The circle of life so often depicted on the National Geographic Channel happens daily in Costa Rica. Toucans rob other birds’ nests and devour their little ones. Despite their reputation as herbivores, iguanas eat baby mice. Crocodiles consume people and iguanas. Ants line up with their grocery carts on my patio and take away my beautiful flora. Of the 200 mammalian species here, half are bats that nosh on insects. But the most dangerous predator of all, as I have learned on several occasions, is the ATM.
The process of using an Automatic Teller Machine appears straightforward. Here in Costa Rica, after standing in line, innocents enter a kiosk that houses the ATM. Once inside, after your card enters into the slot and is “read,” a series of prompts appear on the screen with questions such as whether you prefer English or Spanish and the kind of account you hold. Next you are directed to enter your PIN.
That accomplished, you punch in the desired amount in colones or dollars and if you require a receipt. The ATM warns that a fee “may” be imposed or with some ATMs, the ransom required is automatically revealed. Simple, right?
Recently, I did a successful transaction, being rewarded with the colones that I immediately deposited in my purse. Unfortunately, I foolishly decided to tempt fate and do a second withdrawal of funds. Maybe I was distracted by the new feature of a Latina Alexa who was repeating the prompts in a language remotely resembling English. Maybe it was the nanosecond limit required to retrieve and then reinsert the card before beginning a new transaction. Perhaps it was payback for some horrible sin in my past. Here’s what happened in real time to my debit card.
No prompts appear after I insert the card for a second withdrawal. The lady speaking Croatian is silent. No matter how many times I punch CANCELAR, nothing happens. Nada.
Nada. Nada. The hungry ATM has devoured the lifeline to fund my opulent lifestyle.
In horror, I exit to inform the queue outside of my plight, shouting, “¡Perdi mi tarjeta! ¡Perdi
mi tarjeta!” The folks in line feign sympathy about one of the numerous inconveniences that comprise the landscape. They direct me to go to the bank that owns and operates this ATM. I make my way to the center of town.
Currently, Costa Rica is experiencing a Dickensian “worst of times.” The retrieval of lost cards by the guards who regularly service the ATM is no longer a daily occurrence. The lockdown in the Central Valley of Costa Rica is due to having more COVID-19 cases than hospital beds. Both religious and non-religious are to blame. Some families over-celebrated Semana Santa (Holy Week) with huge gatherings. Others continue to hold parties that resemble nightclubs when shown on television as the policia round up the offenders. Added to this is a gruelingly slow vaccination process.
With newly imposed health restrictions, only essential services are provided, banks belonging to that category. The bank, when I arrive, has lines branching out in two directions. The guard saves me the wait, saying to return on Friday, the day the ATM is emptied of what I assume to be a butt load of credit and debit cards. Alas, it is only Monday!
,' The hungry ATM has devoured the lifeline to fund my opulent lifestyle