Finding the one
HE’S A hopeless romantic who has just got engaged to model Hannah Cooper, but comedian and I’m A Celebrity. . . runnerup Joel Dommett has had more than his fair share of disastrous dates and embarrassing romantic encounters.
In his memoir, It’s Not Me, It’s Them, the 32-year-old funnyman reveals a lot about his previous dating catastrophes, from being a virgin teenager, kissing in “the way you attack a dripping Mr Whippy”, to almost losing his virginity until he realised the condom was past its sell-by date, and his adventures in the world of Tinder, Bumble and Plenty of Fish. online dates. I probably did it solidly for about four months and then got bored of it and realised I needed to do something else.
“A lot of people didn’t look like their photos and they pretended to be someone else online.
“At least when you meet someone on Instagram you can see more of their profile and understand better what their personality is, rather than judging by five photos on a Tinder account.”
“The best way to meet someone is just to be really honest, especially now when we date so many people. There are all these dating apps out now. Just be yourself and someone out there will be right for you. If you’re pretending to be somebody, they’re only going to find out that it’s not you — and they’re going to find out.”
“She sent me a cat emoji with the heart eyes when she was really drunk. I had a really good look at her pictures — I went right back, at least to 2015. We messaged back and forth and I thought she was really funny.”
“On holiday in Thailand we were naked most of the time so it made sense really. It’s okay. I don’t think people mind. I just think it’s hilarious. Instagram is a documentation of your life and that’s what I was doing in my life at a particular moment. It’s not like I’m doing anything too dangerous.”
“I proposed to Hannah at the end of my book. I got her to read the whole book and ripped up the last two pages — and then read them to her.
“I put on a tuxedo, I bought a candelabra from John Lewis — it was huge and cost me 60 quid — set it all up and lit all the candles. I’d forgotten how hot a flat gets when you’ve lit 150 candles. Then she came home and I got down on one knee and read her the final line.
“Her reaction was to say, ‘What?’ lots and lots and then cry lots and lots and then say, ‘Yes’.” “When she went away she left me a list of things to do, and one of them was to tighten the tap in the kitchen and to find out about setting up a NatWest joint account.” “Proposing to her. Proposing gives you a Get Out of Jail Free card for at least six months.”
It’s Not Me, It’s Them by Joel Dommett is published by Headline,