OK, I got it wrong

IGOT it wrong but so did many others. Once in a decade England travel to Edinburgh and, to use the local vernacular, get gubbed. This, unfortunately, was the case last weekend as a rabid Scots pack set upon their wooden English opposition and, to use a phrase beloved in the States, tore them a new one. The performance put on by the Scots was as good a first half of rugby as I have seen in many a year. Slow, plodding England simply were not at the races as Scotland executed Gregor Townsend’s game plan to perfection. Man to man I can’t think of a single Englishman who outplayed his opposite number and Townsend was clearly the runaway winner in the coaching stakes.

I did have a problem with referee Nigel Owens; Scotland were clearly faster to the breakdown but it beggars belief that every time England got into Scottish territory and the ball carrier was tackled a penalty was automatically blown against the attacking side.

By the law of averages this just can’t be right, and I’m still trying to work out why, having given Joe Launchbury the OK to forage, Owens saw fit to not only call back the resulting interception try, but also penalise Launchbury for doing as instructed and give the Scots another three points. This was probably the game-clinching moment and Owens botched it big time.

Nonetheless on the day the Scots and England both got their just desserts and now I hope that the Scots can cure their chronic travel sickness and win in Dublin next time out, if only to keep the Six Nations interesting.

Sort it out

I really want the Video Assistant Referee (VAR) system to work, but until they lock every interested body into a room and develop sensible protocols on how and when it should be implemented, it should be put into cold storage.

The first half of the SpursRochdale game on Wednesday saw VAR called upon eight times at an average of 67 seconds per use, yet only five minutes were added on. That’s a joke, a momentum-killer, and vastly frustrating for the paying punters who, through abysmal communication, had no idea what was going on.

As for the Nike Strike high visibility ball used in the game; I couldn’t see it against the snowy background and my mates at Wembley had the same problem. Bring back the old orange ball.

Team of the week

Alex McCarthy, Southampton; Kyle Walker, Citeh; Eric Dier, Spurs; Vincent Kompany, Citeh; Daryl Janmaat, Watford; Scott McTominay, United; David Silva, Citeh; Mo Salah, Liverpool; Harry Kane, Spurs; Glen Murray, Brighton; Sadio Mane, Liverpool. Manager: Chris Hughton, Brighton.

Ouch! Comments of the week

“If not for David De Gea, United would be Stoke.” Internet comment following United’s lacklustre 0-0 draw in Seville. This one’s from a United fan: “For many years I used to slag Chelsea off when they came to Old Trafford set up for a boring 0-0. Welcome to my miserable existence now.” Come to think of it my nephew Scott has gone awfully quiet about his team on Facebook, poor lad. Still, it’s not his fault — his auntie groomed him to support United.

Top comment

“It’s very nice of Tottingham [sic] to vacate Wembley for a cold Sunday in Crystal Palace to allow the mighty Arsenal to play another final there. Thanks Tottingham.” Speaking personally and sincerely, I hope this Gooner enjoyed his day out at Wembley. I know all the Citeh fans did.

Wally of the Week

There were quite a few candidates for this “honour” this week, ranging from the truly awful performances of Arsenal’s Monreal, Mustafi, Özil, Ramsey, Xhaka and Aubameyang against Citeh in the League Cup final, through to the officials burying their heads in the sand at Palace. The winner, though, just has to be Spurs’ Serge Aurier. I’ll cut him a little slack on his crossing ability because, for whatever reason, modern full backs seemingly almost always hit the first defender. I’ll even forgive him for his miss from two yards out because even the best can sometimes get the ball caught under their studs. But making three foul throws in a 20minute spell? (A Premier League record for one game.) That’ll get you Wally of the Week any time.

This week’s big games

Today: 2.30pm Burnley v Everton; 5pm Leicester v Bournemouth, Southampton v Stoke, Swansea v West Ham, Spurs v Huddersfield, Watford v West Brom; 7.30pm Liverpool v Newcastle. Tomorrow: 3.30pm Brighton v Arsenal; 6pm Citeh v Chelsea. Monday: 10pm Palace v United.

Champions League second legs — Tuesday: 9.45pm Liverpool (5-0) Porto. Wednesday: 9.45pm Citeh (4-0) Basel, Spurs (2-2) Juventus.

Not much doubt about the stand-out game in this round of Premier League fixtures, as for the second week on the bounce Chelsea find themselves in Manchester to fulfil a fixture that is critical to their hopes of a top-four finish come the end of the season.

In the Champions League, due to the soft draws attained by Liverpool and Citeh the only fixture of note is the one between Spurs and Juventus at Wembley. Spurs are probably marginal favourites following their 2-2 draw in Turin but Juventus will have some big name absentees returning, while Spurs have injury problems at the back.

This tie is far from over and I suspect Spurs will have to score at least two past the evergreen keeper Gigi Buffon to progress.

Thought for the day

If the Premier League is all that it’s cracked up to be, how come all bar the top six clubs have a negative goal difference? Also, on December 12, 2017 Burnley were in seventh place; zero wins since then in 11 games and they’re still seventh. Clearly something is not quite right in Premier League land.

And finally

Last week I asked which British team famously won quintuple trophies in one season and in which year they did so. It was of course Jock Stein’s Celtic, who did the deed in 1966-67. That year they made off with the European Cup, the Scottish league title, the Scottish Cup, the Scottish League Cup, and rounded that little lot off by winning the Glasgow Cup.

This week: which club broke their transfer record last summer to buy a striker, only to break it again in January to sign a striker ostensibly to replace the previous record signing?

Not saying I’m a bad loser but I reckon that the guide dog that TV kept showing us from Murrayfield last week would have done a better job of refereeing than Nigel Owens.

There was one bright side to England’s defeat by Scotland, though: it probably saved us in the local from suffering a Geordie new moon, as occurred last year at the same time.

Speaking of Geordies, I received a nice mail from eminent photographer Dr Brian Joyce, who had some nice things to say about this column (shocking, I know). Thanks, Brian, and yes, Jamaal Lascelles should be in the reckoning for England.