Italiano scandaloso

THE referee has a rubbish bin where his heart should be” and “it was only one tenth of a penalty”. So said Gianluigi Buffon after referee Michael Oliver saw fit to award Real Madrid a penalty in the last few seconds of normal time in a pulsating Champions League match that had seen Buffon’s Juventus overcome a first leg 3-0 deficit in Madrid.

The fact that Oliver compounded this “heartless” decision by then sending Buffon off after the legendary keeper had abused and manhandled the whistler probably didn’t help salve the Italian’s mood either. In fairness I wouldn’t have been too happy if I were a Juve fan, but I would hope that I would have been realistic and fairsighted enough to see that it was, first off, a dumb challenge by the Juve defender which resulted in a valid penalty award; and secondly, no matter your legendary standing in the game if you lay hands on any official that is beyond the pale and fully deserving of an early bath.

However Italians aren’t particularly renowned for their honesty and fairness when it comes to footie matters and the media were full of accusations concerning bias from “the English referee”, the “English full stop”, that “Jewish club Spurs” (me neither?) and “General Franco” (I think that’s a bit of a stretch). Sadly, but all too predictably, a lot of the media and internet bile emanated from not people of Italian origin but Brits, and in particular the English who felt in general that Oliver “was disgraceful and corrupt to the core”; that “the Premier League are jealous of Italian football”; and that this was “payback for Juventus knocking out Spurs in the last round”.

What is it with the English self-loathing of their own kith and kin? The more I see of this, the more I realise that George Orwell’s views on the English were spot on. In the end it boils down to this: football is a simple game where the object is for one side to score more than the other side. To police this the game is governed by laws and the sole arbiter of these laws during a game is, until the introduction of VAR, the man with the whistle. If you don’t want to fall foul of him then don’t bring an opponent down in the area, whether in the first minute or the last or at any time in between — and most definitely do not abuse and jostle the referee or any of his assistants at any time before, during or after the game. How simple is that?

I do so like a bit of Schadenfreude

“They’re a great team but they lack the understanding of how to play at this level.” So said Juventus defensive icon Giorgio Chiellini after his side had undeservedly nicked the win over Spurs at Wembley last month. Obviously Juve do understand how to play at this level, judging

by the way they gifted the winning penalty to Real in the final seconds of the match featured above.

Congratulations

To Citeh for winning the Premier League title with a month to go and to Wolves for doing the same in the Championship. Detractors could point out that in both cases, given the money available to them, that was the least that could be expected. They would have a point, but the quality of football played by these sides was at times a joy to behold, so fair play to both clubs.

‘Accrington Stanley: Who are they?’

One of the great “names” in English football celebrated promotion from League Two this week. The club originally formed in 1891 are in their third incarnation, having been reformed in 1968 following the demise of the second incarnation in 1966. In its own way their achievement is as laudable as that of Citeh and Wolves, given that they are by any measure the smallest club in the league, operating on a minuscule budget with minimal attendances. The heading is from a famous British milk advert featuring Ian Rush and the answer to the question posed by one Liverpool fan to another was: “Exactly.”

What’s that about?

I’m more than happy to concede my lack of understanding about the dog’s dinner that is the Scottish league set-up, so with that in mind can anyone explain to me why it is that over the course of this season Kilmarnock will have hosted Rangers once, yet had to visit Ibrox three times?

Numbers of the week

Arsenal fans may want to skip this: 116-1-0. There are 116 clubs in English football’s top five tiers and only one of those clubs has zero points on the road in 2018 — step forward, Arsenal. In all seriousness that is quite an astonishing stat for a team of Arsenal’s prominence, personnel and resources.

Team of the week

Ben Foster, West Brom; DeAndre Yedlin, Newcastle; Vincent Kompany, Citeh; Jan Vertonghen, Spurs; Mohamed Diame, Newcastle; James WardProwse, Southampton; Jonjo Shelvey, Newcastle; David Silva, Citeh; Olivier Giroud, Chelsea; Jesus, Citeh; Wilfried Zaha, Palace. Manager: Rafa Benitez, Newcastle.

This week’s big games

FA Cup — today: 7.15pm Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur. Tomorrow: 5pm Chelsea v Southampton. Premier League — today: 5pm Watford v Palace. Tomorrow: 3.30pm Arsenal v West Ham, Stoke v Burnley; 6.30pm Citeh v Swansea, West Brom v Liverpool. Monday: 10pm Everton v Newcastle. Champions League semi-final, first leg — Tuesday: 9.45pm Liverpool v Roma. Europa League semi-final, first leg — Thursday: 10.05pm Arsenal v Atletico Madrid. Others — today: 2.30pm Hibs v Celtic. Tomorrow: 2.30pm Rangers v Hearts.

The only question to be asked this weekend is: which United will turn up at Wembley? Will it be the timid, unadventurous United that we usually see when they face off against a decent side in a big game? Or will Jose Mourinho let his players express themselves against a Spurs side that seems to have gone off the boil lately?

And finally

Last week’s question: only one player has scored hat-tricks in each of the top four divisions in England, the FA and League cups, and for his country — name him.

A much-travelled player in his 19-year playing career, Robert Earnshaw’s sole Premier League triple was scored while playing for West Brom; all his other club and cup hat-tricks were scored while playing for Cardiff in Divisions One, Two and Three, with the exception being one for Forest in the First Division.

His sole international threesome came while playing for Wales in a friendly against Scotland in 2004.

This week — an easy one: in 1990 which country fielded a 22man World Cup squad in which 16 of those players were not native-born?

Overheard-in-the-local quote of the week — “You could see it with your eyes.” Revelation time: I hadn’t realised that there was any other way to see anything.