Season Two

ON WESTMINSTER

JUST when you thought the Christmas parliamentary break had spared you from Brexit and it was safe to come out, they’re back; Season Two of that ever unpopular series, The Remainers, has returned to our screens. Set in the fevered atmosphere of the Commons, the leading members of the cast have busily resumed their efforts to destroy the widely popular hero of the box set, Mr UK Brexit. Just after you read this, we should know if their efforts have been successful in bringing him to his knees.

The plot is ludicrous. The first season included characters known as “experts” claiming that on day one of Brexit, British planes would cease to fly into the EU. As soon as the villain of the piece (a shadowy character known only as “EU”), realised that a “no-deal Brexit” was a real possibility, he announced a 12-month extension to the agreement that allows UK aircraft to fly there. Why? Because without that agreement EU-based airlines couldn’t fly into the UK. You see, every EU-based airline that flies to the US or Canada can only do so by flying through UK airspace. No wonder the plot is beyond belief.

Season Two has opened with 100 university characters known as “spokesmen” announcing that their research and development projects are all at risk of losing “EU funding” were Mr UK Brexit’s “no deal” to come about. There is no such thing as “EU funding” in the UK. Britain is a net financial contributor to the EU. Therefore any “EU funding” universities receive is only British money they have given us back. They don’t “give us” a penny.

This is the daftest televised “series” ever devised. Let’s hope they cancel Season Three.