KICK OFF TO THE SOUND OF SILENCE
NEXT Wednesday sees (hopefully) the return of the Premier League as Villa take on Sheffield United and Arsenal visit Manchester City with the rest of the top two divisions joining the party next weekend. The stakes are high for these two games, not least because, once played, all the clubs in the league will achieve parity on games played. But both games are crucial for all four clubs with regard to what’s at stake for them as the season hopefully progresses to a conclusion. A win for Villa takes them out of the bottom three. A Blades win will see them move into the top five and on the cusp of what would be an astonishing Champions League place for a side that many considered valid relegation candidates at the start of the season. Meanwhile up in Manchester, Citeh, having almost certainly conceded that the title is beyond reach will want to build momentum for their Champions League aspirations as and when the competition resumes, and Arsenal currently ninth simply have to win to claw their way into the Europa League places while still harboring ambitions of a late run into the top four or five. Then on Friday night the spotlight shines on New White Hart Lane where Spurs take on Manchester United; this is always one of the most anticipated fixtures of the season, but added frisson is provided by the fact that this is the first time Jose Mourinho will face off against the side that sacked him last year. Depending on the good offices or otherwise of the FA disciplinary committee, who may yet dole out suspensions to Eric Dier and Dele Alli, Spurs should for the first time in living memory have a fully fit squad to choose from, with the welome returns from injury of Harry Kane, Son Heung-Min, Moussa Sissoko, and Steven Bergwijn, while United will be boosted by the return of the mercurial Paul Pogba. Match fitness will obviously be a big factor in the proceedings, but with this game being a proverbial three-pointer neither side will want to lose. Given the rustiness that must have set in over the past few months, it would be foolish to make predictions but the evidence out of Germany is that in these Covid times home advantage has been severely negated so I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see two away wins on Wednesday, though hopefully not on Friday.
What can we expect to see… and not hear?
Well quite obviously with no spectators in the grounds the atmosphere, if that’s the right word, is going to be non-existent but in order to partly alleviate this the Premier League has been granted permission to use the crowd noises from FIFA 20 via the red button on your set top box remote. Additionally home clubs will be permitted to play in-ground music during such wondrous moments as the teams coming out, the teams lining up in an effective and exemplary social distancing manner before exchanging pregame pleasantries that will most definitely not include the shaking of hands, goal celebrations again carried out in a responsible way, and during substitutions which have been increased from three to five if required per game. Additionally in a classic case of own-goal scoring it has been decreed that sponsorship branding will be limited to 25 per cent of available space, while 65 per cent has been allowed for fans to supply cut-outs of themselves and such like, with the final 10 per cent going to Premier League branding and advertising. All of which sounds wonderful doesn’t it? No I don’t think so either.
The untouchables
So it’s official, when it comes to social responsibility football fans are the lowest of the low. At a time when the beaches are heaving and the streets are thronging with hundreds of thousands of oiks protesting about literally any issue under the sun including Black Lives Matter, Brexit, the environment, the government, and Dominic Cummings, football fans are still not trusted to behave themselves
despite the fact that they are banned from going about their lawful business in supporting their football club. It was bad enough in the Seventies when we knew we were trash and fully deserved to be treated like cattle on away day trains (sarcasm alert) and forced to march between columns of police between the stations and grounds, but even now in this genteel, prawn sandwich scoffing era, we’re still not considered trustworthy enough to behave ourselves when out in public. T’was ever thus. (As for the police horse that broke my toe in Coventry in 1973…it’s a good job I like horses)
Meanwhile in the Guardian
From comments relating to the above “It’s all about context. Protesters are gathering to bring about change for an oppressed group of people. Fans will gather to watch a football match together. I know which cause I would rather contract the virus for.” How noble this chap is and he is a classic exemplar of Guardian reader thinking; even if he doesn’t seem to comprehend that the fans are certainly not going to be gathering to watch a football match together.
Burning question of the week
With all games being played behind closed doors for the foreseeable future will Arsenal and West Ham continue to report attendances of 60,000?
And finally
Last week’s question; missing from the list of golf major winners is Alfie Fyles who won six Open Championships, why is he not on the list? Because Mr Fyles was a caddy and in that capacity he was on the bag for all five of the great Tom Watson’s wins plus Gary Players victory at Carnoustie in 1968. John Grundey enjoyed a welcome return to form in being first in with the correct answer. This week; complete this famous sequence that happened 50 years ago last Sunday; Alberto-JairzinhoPele-?
Seen on the road in Lapta this week; a Hyundai i10 barreling along at a fair old lick with a three seater sofa on the roof; OK in itself that’s only mildly unusual but what caught my eye were the arms extended out of each window holding it in place. And then it overtook a police car and continued on its serene journey to who knows where.