Give it the elbow
ERIK Lamela: hand to Arsenal defender’s face, second yellow card, early bath. Paul Pogba: elbow to Spurs defender Serge Aurier’s face, no action taken, play on. Scott McTominay: hand to Spurs forwards face, free kick, no yellow card despite McTominay having already been carded. Where’s the consistency? When Lamela got his marching orders against Arsenal I was quite sanguine about it because the action itself invites scrutiny, but Pogba got away with an even more blatant offence and, as pointed out McTominay, perhaps should have been the recipient of a second yellow and sent for an early bath. Cue Manchester United keyboard warriors up in arms because McTominay’s actions cost them a goal, and yet they were strangely mute about Marcus Rashford’s actions when he went down holding his face after having his ankle tapped, but I suppose this is inevitable when the club’s support comes from all over England as opposed to Salford, and said fans only get to see their heroes on the box.
Certainly not boring
Against Arsenal: 3-0 up, draw 3-3. Against Wolves: 3-0 up, win 32. Against Leicester: 3-0 up, win 32. Say what you want about them, but West Ham are certainly entertaining.
Priorities
So in their infinite wisdom Uefa chose to suspend a Romanian linesman for the heinous crime of getting Borussia Dortmund’s Erling Haalands’s autograph on his yellow card (he was going to auction it for charity) after their Champions League tie at Manchester City, yet no sanction was given to the referee from that game who disallowed a perfectly good Dortmund goal in such a way that VAR couldn’t intervene and put things right. Pathetic.
What a shame
I noticed that ex-referee Howard Webb recently tied the knot in Hanover with his German referee fiancée. By the Covid rules in Germany, there were no guests at the nuptuals but it is believed that Fergie sent his congratulations and Manchester United paid for the honeymoon along with gifting Mr and Mrs Webb an Old Trafford life-long season ticket in acknowledgement of Webb being their Player of the Year over so many seasons.
Team of the week
Illan Meslier Leeds, Trent Alexander-Arnold Liverpool, Dara O’Shea, West Brom, Ezgjan Alioski Leeds, Aaron Wan-Bissaka United, Stuart Dallas Leeds,
Mason Mount Chelsea, Matheus Pereira West Brom, Christian Pulisic Chelsea, Edinson Cavani United, Jesse Lingard West Ham. Manager: Marcelo Bielsa Leeds.
This week’s games
Premier League today 12:30; Newcastle vs West Ham. 8:15; Wolves vs Sheffield United. Tomorrow 3:30; Arsenal vs Fulham. 6pm; United vs Burnley. Monday 10pm; Leeds vs Liverpool. Tuesday 10pm; Chelsea vs Brighton. Wednesday 8pm; Spurs vs Southampton. 10:15 Villa vs Citeh. Thursday 10pm; Leicester vs West Brom. Friday 10pm; Arsenal vs Everton. FA Cup semifinals today 7:30; Chelsea vs Citeh. Tomorrow 8:30; Leicester vs Southampton. Selected Championship today 10pm; Norwich vs Bournemouth. Tuesday 8pm; Norwich vs Watford. Selected Scottish Cup today 2:15; Stranraer vs Hibs. Tomorrow 5pm; Rangers vs Celtic. Premiership Wednesday 8pm; Hibs vs Livingstone. 9:45; Aberdeen vs Celtic, St Johnstone vs Rangers.
Games to watch; Leeds vs Liverpool, Chelsea vs Citeh, Rangers vs Celtic. Leeds and Liverpool shared seven goals on the opening weekend, more of the same on Monday? The cup tie at Stamford Bridge pairs the two English clubs who this week reached the Champions League semi-finals – is this a dress rehearsal for the final? Finally, newly crowned Champions Rangers take on managerless Celtic, who will be keen to show that they are still a force in Scotland. Something’s got to give and I think this game is going Rangers way.
Dumb and dumber
With my love for the five-day game still undiminished, I await with trepidation English cricket’s latest wheeze to attract paying customers, otherwise known as The Hundred. T20 is bad enough but at least you still get 20 six-ball overs, whereas in The Hundred an over can consist of either five or 10 balls as the fielding team so chooses, with a change of end every 10 balls. Self-evidently an innings lasts for 100 balls, but ultimately how can cricket’s traditional fan base feel involved when the county teams have been scrapped and replaced by eight regional franchises such as London Spirit, Birmingham Phoenix, Oval Invincibles, Manchester Originals, Northern Superchargers, Trent Rockets, Southern Brave and Welsh Fire? This has led many to complain of the “Americanisation” of the game and when you see that batsmen will now be known as “batters” and wickets taken as “outs” they have a point. Apparently these changes are down to focus groups complaining that the grand old game is too complicated and needs to be simplified to make it more “inclusive”. That last word sums up the whole fiasco.
F1
Emilia Romagna Grand Prix tomorrow, 4pm. After the thriller in Bahrain that started the season, it’s off to Ferrari’s home track as we await with bated breath the next installment of the HamiltonVerstappen show. If this race is as good as Bahrain, a treat is in store. Petrol heads, particularly Brian Baines and Graham Paxton, should note that today’s qualifying has been moved forward an hour due to the Duke of Edinburgh’s funeral.
And finally
Last week I asked what connects the 1971 FA Cup final and Jimmy Hill. Cup final day was one of our most cherished annual occasions, particularly because it was one of the few fixtures shown live each season. One of our leastcherished football traditions of the era was the two finalists releasing songs for the occasion and appearing on Top of the Pops to promote said song. 1971 saw Arsenal take on Liverpool and with the Gooners not having the wit to have a terrace chant of their own (They still don’t unless One nil to the Arsenal counts) an appeal went out for someone to write them one, and that is how pundit supreme Jimmy Hill came to write Good Old Arsenal. This week: what connects Kraigg Braithwaite, Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad?
“She (name withheld) looks just like (name withheld), must be a humperdinker.” I think my wife was trying to say that the lady in question has a doppelganger, but who really knows?