Rev Walker: Now Euro 2020 gets serious as England are playing Germany
THE Scots have been sent homeward tae (sic) think again, Portugal scraped into the quarter finals, flat track bullies Belgium sailed through their group, the French have flattered to deceive but look ominous, and England are playing Germany; in other words, business pretty much as usual. Now Euro 2020 gets serious.
He’s still got it
For a player who is supposedly more interested in golf than footie, Gareth Bale is making a decent fist of it as he allegedly winds down his football career. He was absolutely outstanding against Turkey in Baku where, despite missing a penalty, he still racked up two glorious assists while making a competition record five clear goal scoring opportunities. Imagine how good he would be if he still cared about the day job.
He’s not getting it
March 2019, England 5-0 Czech Republic; June 2021, England 1–0 Czech Republic. England captain Harry Kane is coming in for a lot of flak at the moment, but these two results encapsulate his and England’s problem area – lack of pace. In 2019, the Czechs simply could not cope with England’s speedy wingers and wing backs and neither could the rest of the Euro 2020 qualifying group as England scored a record 37 goals in just eight games, with Harry netting 12 of them. But since then, Gareth Southgate has become wedded to safety-first risk-free football to the extent that in England’s three Euro 2020 games thus far just one solitary cross has come in from the byline. The results just about justify the change of tack, but two defensive mids, plus two backs who rarely venture over the halfway line, (and when they do would rather cut inside than cross the ball) means chances will be at a premium. Let’s see how this works when England face Germany on Tuesday. Truthfully I don’t rate this German side. Other than their dynamic full backs I don’t see too much there for England to fear. But England are statistically the slowest attacking build-up team in the competition and I would suggest a rocket up Gareth Southgate’s backside is needed to add some pep to a line-up that is more than capable of putting the fear of God into the ponderous German central defence. Or as a butcher from Warmington on sea would put it “they don’t like it up ‘em”.
They never had it
Euro 2020 quote of the week: “In 1297 William Wallace rode out and addressed the nation: ‘Sons of Scotland! They may take our lives but they’ll NEVER take our God-given, unswerving ability to exit an international tournament at the earliest possible opportunity’.” (Eleven tourneys eleven group stage exits.)
They did but…
England 1-0 Croatia: “England struggled to see off a Croatia side that has clearly regressed since reaching the 2018 World Cup final with the once superb Luca Modric showing his age.”
I actually thought Modric was excellent in that game. Scotland 1-3 Croatia: “Plucky Scotland were undone by a superb Croatian performance with the little master Luca Modric pulling the strings.” Yes, you guessed it, welcome to the Guardian’s readers’ comments section.
A mess of their own making
Having missed out on staging the Champions League final due to the UK government’s quarantine restrictions, it looked like Wembley was going to also lose the Euro 2020 final for the same reason. At the time most people backed the government refusal to not allow into the country 2,500 of Uefa’s officials, sponsors, etc., which had they not would have made a mockery of what the UK populace were going through at the time. But then came the G7 summit, where all the free world’s main leaders plus those two useless EU numpties were seen having a great time sans social distancing and face masks in sunny Cornwall, again while the rest of the peasants were kept under the thumb of SAGE. So back came Uefa with the same demand: let us in or lose the finals. At the time of writing no clear decision has been reached but there can realistically be only one decision: tell Uefa to do one and take their semi-finals and final off to Budapest where there are no restrictions whatsoever. That said, it would hardly be a surprise if Boris bowed to the pressure from Uefa and came up with a face-saving fudge, though to do so would see increased disgruntlement from the hoi polloi who would rightly question why they are still locked down, while the great and the not so good are given carte blanche to come and go as they please.
I’m confused
Ben Chilwell and Mason Mount hug their young Chelsea teammate Billy Gilmour after the young lad helps Scotland hold England to a 0-0 draw. Gilmour subsequently tests positive for Covid, the two England players had to isolate despite testing negative. So how was it that none of the Scotland players and coaches who were all over young Billy like the proverbial rash also had to isolate? (Other instances have seen entire teams have to isolate when one of their number has tested positive.) Nicola Sturgeon can’t be that influential, can she?
This week’s games
Euro 2020 round of 16, today 7pm: Wales v Denmark; 10pm, Italy v Austria. Tomorrow 7pm: Netherlands v Czech Republic; 10pm, Belgium v Portugal. Monday 7pm: Croatia v Spain; 10pm: France v Switzerland. Tuesday 7pm: England v Germany; 10pm: Sweden v Ukraine. Quarter finals, Friday 7pm: France/Switzerland v Croatia/Spain; 10pm: Belgium/Portugal v Italy/Austria.
F1
Styrian Grand Prix tomorrow, 4pm. Last week in France Mercedes gifted the win to Red Bull by once again cocking up their strategy and allowing Max Verstappen to increase his lead over Lewis Hamilton to 12 points. It’s no good having the best car if you’re going to chuck the race away in the pits (or in this case not in the pits) so one hopes that Mercedes bang a few heads together and up their game tomorrow.
And finally
Last week I asked: what happened in the previous week’s Euro 2020 game between England and Croatia that hadn’t happened since 1992? That game was the first time since Euro 1992 that England’s starting eleven did not feature any players from both Manchester United and Liverpool. Arsenal could also have been added to that stat, but as they haven’t had any England players for years I’m not counting them. (Yes I know Bukayo Sako played the other night but the point still applies.)
This week: which club has provided the most players for England over the years, and how many clubs have provided England with players that have totalled over a century of goals for the national side?
I noted that some not-sobright sparks at Oxford University have demanded that there be a new offence created that punishes speciesism, whereby one can be prosecuted for saying nasty things to or about animals. Sadly nothing surprises me these days and I’m fully expecting to lose my Godgiven right to be nasty to supporters of Arsenal, Chelsea, and West Ham otherwise known as the Nomads, Rent Boys, and Disadvantaged Travellers of Irish origin respectively.
Whatever else can be said about Mrs Walker at least she does things differently. Last week I heard an inordinate amount of coughing and spluttering coming from the kitchen; upon investigation it turned out that in trying to get the last vestiges of brown sauce out of the bottle she had inadvertently snorted some up her nose. I mean most people’s (not that I know any personally) snorting substance of choice is cocaine, but my dear wife loves her brown sauce so it’s probably totally appropriate that that is her snorting condiment of choice.