This is getting ridiculous
REAL Madrid, 0-2 down on aggregate vs PSG and being played off the proverbial park, win 3-2; 0-3 down on the night and 3-4 down on aggregate vs Chelsea while being played off the park, win 5-4; 0-2 down on aggregate going into time added on vs Citeh while being massively played off the park, first shot on target 1-2, second shot on target 2-2, fourth and final shot on target win 3-2.
Say what you like about Real Madrid, be it lucky or whatever, but it looks like their name is already on this season’s Champions League trophy, though one would think that the Scousers would be more resilient than PSG, Chelsea, or Citeh should they get their noses in front.
Appropriate footie quotes re Real Madrid
As a great manager once said “football bloody hell”. As a great striker once said “It’s a funny old game Saint”. As Chris Kamara might well have said “unbelievable Jeff”.
Hiddle off
Tom Hiddleston is a very fine English actor; Tom Huddlestone, AKA “Thud”, was a massively underrated footballer with Derby, Spurs, and England, and is currently at Hull.
Nigel Huddleston is a no mark Tory MP who is the current Sports Minister, or to be exact his job description tells us that he is the Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Sport, Heritage, and Tourism.
Before entering Parliament he was an accountant at a big accounting house, which probably explains his pronouncement that Premier League clubs should collectively cough up a billion quid, or £50million each, to support their less well-off brethren in the lower leagues.
Ignoring the fact that the Prem already throws a big wad of dosh to the allegedly less well-off, how fair would it be that, for example, Norwich’s Delia Smith would end up subsidising Denise Coates at Stoke, whose personal wealth is in the region of nine billion quid and draws a yearly salary package of well over £450million?
Eighteen clubs in the Championship have wealthier owners than Norwich, while in League One and League Two a
further 15 clubs have that distinction. And Huddleston thinks that Norwich should subsidise clubs wealthier than themselves?
Peak Guardian
It’s fair to say that Liverpool were greatly aided in beating Villarreal by the indifferent performances over both legs by the Spaniards’ keeper Geronimo Rulli in their Champions League semi-final.
Iffy in the first leg and culpable for all three Liverpool goals in the second, it’s reasonable to say he had a bit of a nightmare.
This is what the Guardian’s excellent Spanish football expert Sid Lowe had to say about Liverpool’s third goal: “Twice the ball went into the net through Geronimo Rulli’s legs, once he honoured his name by charging from his goal to leave it unguarded.”
Now I thought this was a reasonably witty comment and in no way a nasty one, but several Guardianistas thought otherwise as in this comment: “Is this some kind of slur on native Americans? Lazy journalism or what?” It may or may not be lazy journalism, but it at least gave some presumably WFH keyboard warrior the opportunity to be outraged on behalf of the rest of us.
Team of the week
Jordan Pickford Everton, Joao Cancelo Citeh, Yerry Mina Everton, Cuti Romero Spurs, Rodri Citeh, Andrew Robertson Liverpool, Jack Cork Burnley, Naby Keita Liverpool, Raheem Sterling Citeh, Son Heung-min Spurs, Phil Foden Citeh. Manager: Mike Jackson Burnley. Player of the week: Joao Cancelo.
This week’s games
Premier League today 5pm; Brentford vs Southampton, Burnley vs Villa, Chelsea vs Wolves, Palace vs Watford. 7:30; Brighton vs United. 9:45; Liverpool vs Spurs. Tomorrow 4pm; Arsenal vs Leeds, Leicester vs Everton, Norwich vs West Ham. 6pm; Citeh vs Newcastle. Tuesday 10pm; Villa vs Liverpool. Wednesday 9:30; Leeds vs Chelsea. 9:45; Leicester vs Norwich, Watford vs Everton. 10:15; Wolves vs Citeh. Thursday 9:45; Spurs vs Arsenal.
Selected Championship today 2:30; Bournemouth vs Millwall, Huddersfield vs Bristol City, Hull vs Forest, Luton vs Reading, Preston vs Middlesbrough, Sheffield United vs Fulham.
League One play-offs semifinals second legs tomorrow 8:30; MK Dons vs Wycombe. Monday 9:45; Sheffield Wednesday vs Sunderland.
Selected Scotland today 2pm; Celtic vs Hearts. 5pm; Ross County vs Motherwell. Tomorrow 5pm; Rangers vs Dundee United. Wednesday 9:30; Dundee United vs Celtic. 9:45; Motherwell vs Hearts, Rangers vs Ross County.
Outwith the Premier League, I’ll be keeping an eye on the fight for the last play-off places in the Championship.
Luton’s tonking at Fulham on Monday has opened the door for Millwall or Middlesbrough to sneak in if Luton fail to beat Reading, while a two-goal win for Middlesbrough could even see Sheffield United miss out if they fail to beat Fulham and the Hatters see off the Biscuitmen.
In the Prem, a win for Burnley over Villa will put the pressure on Everton, who travel to out-of-sorts Leicester, while Leeds will be desperate to take points off Arsenal and Chelsea.
F1
Miami Grand Prix tomorrow, 10.30pm. F1 breaks new ground tomorrow in Miami as another street circuit with a difference is added to the calendar.
The difference being that this race is actually being run on a temporary street-track hybrid with the Miami Dolphins Hard Rock stadium at its core.
This venue is all about bling and as such should be right up Lewis Hamilton’s street, unfortunately given his car’s struggles this season he looks set to be an also-ran this weekend.
And finally
Last week’s question: what record did Sunderland set while under the tutelage of Howard Wilkinson and Mick McCarthy in the early 2000s? At the backend of the 2002-03 season Wilkinson’s Sunderland lost each of its last 15 league games while on the way to inevitable relegation.
Fast forward to season 200506 and on their return to the top division under McCarthy Sunderland lost their first five games of the season, meaning that Sunderland set and still hold the record for successive Premier League defeats.
This week: once again we say goodbye to Norwich after their sixth relegation to footie’s second tier in the Premier League era.
Given that they’ve been promoted five times in that span, we can probably expect them back after next season, but the question is: which club holds the all-time record for promotions to the top division? Bonus question: what two unique feats has Carlo Ancelotti recently accomplished?
Welcome back
After a long Covid-enforced absence, it’s a pleasure to welcome Steve and Becky Brown back to the island. It was bad enough Gooner Copping turning up last week but with Gooner Brown doing likewise I’m starting to really dread next Thursday’s North London Derby.