Same old song
“WE’RE in a crisis partly of our own making, how do we deflect criticism? How about we give the Premier League a public kicking, that’ll keep the unwashed off our backs.”
That conversation probably didn’t happen, but it seems that some of our less than honourable members are incensed at the Premier League’s profligacy during the just finished transfer window as it “sends a message of contempt” for the people who are suffering in the cost of living crisis.
One suggestion was that the clubs should “give back to the community that has sustained them over the years” while another was that they should pay a one-off levy on transfers to “go back to the community”.
These presumably are the same MPs who voted through the £100 (plus) billion HS2 white elephant, the same MPs that sit back while Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and other tech companies pay pretty much zero tax in the UK, and the same MPs who don’t believe a windfall tax should be imposed on the energy companies raking the pounds in courtesy not of their own competence but of Mad Vlad’s Ukraine adventure.
And I’m pretty sure these same MPs thoroughly enjoy their taxpayer-funded booze and grub while fiddling their expenses and employing their wives and kids, while also taking full advantage of the freebies offered to them by . . . the Premier League clubs all of whom, without exception, contribute massively to their own communities.
Times a wastin’
American football takes more than three hours to play 60 minutes, basketball regularly takes 13 to 15 minutes to play the final two minutes, real football can take 110-plus minutes to play 90, and that’s not including the half time break.
In one Premier League match last weekend the duration of the game was 102 minutes plus half time and yet the ball was only actually in play for 48 minutes.
Clearly the fans are being short-changed here but unless they follow rugby and stop the clock for every stoppage, then nothing is going to change any time soon.
Here we go again
VAR once again rears its ugly head. Newcastle vs Palace, Newcastle winner chalked off by VAR; Chelsea vs West Ham, West Ham equaliser chalked off by VAR.
In both cases the on-field referee got it right and awarded the goal and in both cases VAR told them their decision was wrong and they acquiesced.
Afterwards the referee’s panel apologised and said lessons will be learnt, which is all well and good but that doesn’t give Newcastle their two lost points back nor West Ham their point, does it?
Here’s one they got right, but it felt wrong, West Ham vs Spurs. Spurs were awarded a penalty for handball. It seemed harsh to me but there were no complaints from the Hammers. In steps VAR and after four very long minutes the penalty was rescinded, which to me was fair enough but why did it take four minutes for VAR to make the decision?
Clearly the referee hadn’t made a “clear and obvious” error, the Hammers had no problem with the original decision, so why didn’t the onfield decision stand? Answers on the back of a postage stamp please.
The price of failure
I have to say I was shocked big time when Thomas Tuchel got his marching orders from Chelsea on Wednesday morning. Tuchel, lest we forget, won the Champions League just 16 months ago and yet now he’s gone, having been heavily backed by the club’s new owner in the summer transfer window.
Could it have been something to do with their defeat against Dynamo Zagreb the night before, having spent a record near on £300 million quid in the summer while Zagreb spent just £5 million?
Team of the week
Jordan Pickford Everton, Conor Cody Everton, Lisandro Martinez United, Tyrel Makacia United, Christian Eriksen United, Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg Spurs, Dominic Solanki Bournemouth, Richarlison Spurs, Marcus Rashford United, Ivan Toney Brentford, Antony United.
Manager: Gary O’Neil, Bournemouth. The results since the 9-0 shellacking at Liverpool that led to the sacking of Scott Parker, 0-0 at home to Wolves and a 3-2 win at Forest after being 2-0 down, make caretaker manager O’Neil the manager of the week. Player of the week: Jordan Pickford. He was the reason that Liverpool were held scoreless in the Scouse derby; his level of consistency is the reason he’s still England’s number one.
F1
Italian Grand Prix tomorrow 4pm. Having finally reached comparative parity with Red Bull and then thrown away a possible win in the Netherlands, can Mercedes reach the next level at Monza? Probably not but one can hope that is the case.
And finally
What connects the 1953 FA Cup final and Marilyn Monroe? The 1953 FA Cup final is cemented in footie folklore as the “Matthews cup final” as football’s first Knight won his first and only FA Cup.
What is sometimes forgotten is that in that game his teammate Stan Mortenson scored what is still the only FA Cup final hattrick. Marilyn Monroe’s real name is often given as Norma Jeane Baker whereas her given name at birth is actually Norma Jeane Mortenson, and there’s the connection. Cleverclogs Grundey was first with the correct answer (yet again). This week: most footie fans can name the first Premier League goal scorer but who scored the first Premier League own goal?
Last word
If there’s anyone out there who still thinks that women’s football is on a par with the men look at England women’s record in World Cup qualifying; P10 W10 D0 L0 GF80 GA0 Pts 30.
I know England’s men come through the qualification stages for the Euros and the World Cup pretty comfortably each time but this is beyond ridiculous. (Now going into hiding from that deranged Ayresome Angel.)