Thanks for nothing
ALL that was needed for England to be guaranteed five places in next season’s Champions League was Arsenal beating Bayern Munich and West Ham seeing off new Bundesliga champions Bayer Leverkusen in their respective European quarterfinals.
Did they do it? Did they heck. The Gooners’ limp performance in Munich meant that it only took a solitary goal to see them off.
Meanwhile in London the Hammers found out what happens when you take on the team with the best record domestically in all of Europe.
In fairness West Ham gave it a go and were a minute away from being the first side to beat Bayer in any competition this season, but in the end class told and it’s Xabi Alonso’s impressive outfit that will be in the Europa League semifinals, while David Moyes has some work to do to ensure European football is played at the council house stadium next season.
STATS OF THE EUROPEAN QUARTERFINALS
Possession 72.9% 27.1%, xG 2.25-0.2, shots 33-1 – these were the bare statistics from the Europa League first leg when Bayer Leverkusen hosted West Ham.
One can only marvel at the final score being a mere 2-0 win for Bayer, leaving David Moyes to claim with good, if rather optimistic, reason that “we have half a chance in the second leg” (see above).
BONKERS
With the run-in to the end of the season featuring an exciting race between Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City for the title, how have the Premier League allowed a situation where a common opponent to all three clubs has no games between the April 13 and April 28, yet then has five fixtures within 16 days including, as stated, Arsenal at home, Liverpool away, and Citeh at home?
NONSENSICAL
So Mikel Arteta was quite happy to see the ref show “common sense” when not awarding a penalty to Bayern in London after Gabriel picked up the ball that keeper David Raya passed to him from a goal kick.
Try as I might, but I cannot find anywhere in the laws of the game that mention common sense when it comes to infractions.
Quite simply it was a penalty all day long and Arteta should have just thanked his lucky stars and kept his ample trap shut.
DOES NOBODY WANT TO WIN?
In the Premier League both Liverpool and Arsenal lost at home last weekend. In the Championship, the three runaway contenders for automatic promotion – Ipswich, Leicester and Leeds – keep handing each other the initiative and collectively declining the offer while also giving Southampton an outside chance of crashing the party.
In Scotland Rangers, who were in the driving seat for the title, somehow deservedly lose to second-from-bottom Ross County and then scrape a draw at Dundee, putting Celtic firmly back in pole position.
I get that we’re in the business end of the season and, to quote Fergie, it’s “squeaky bum time” but surely among all these pretenders there are enough calming influences to plot a way to get the needed results?
Otherwise it’s going to be business as usual in the Prem and ditto up in Jockland. As for the Championship? Who knows what’s going to happen.
TEAM OF THE WEEK
Sose Sa Wolves, Ezri Konsa Aston Villa, Jefferson Lerma Crystal Palace, Pau Torres Aston Villa, Joachim Andersen Crystal Palace, Cole Palmer Chelsea, Matheus Cunha Wolves, Andreas Pereira Fulham, Alexander Isak Newcastle, Ollie Watkins Aston Villa, Anthony Gordon Newcastle.
Manager: Unai Emery Aston Villa. Emery was mercilessly mocked while manager at the Emirates, so for him to get the season’s double over Arsenal must have been immensely satisfying.
Players of the week: Alexander Isak. Spurs’ much vaunted centre backs just couldn’t handle the unstoppable Swede, who gave what for me was the most complete centre forward display of the season.
Cole Palmer. You can’t argue against a player who gets a hattrick in the first 29 minutes of a Premier League game and a fourth later on, even if it was only against a wretched Everton.
THIS WEEK’S GAMES
Premier League today 5pm; Luton vs Brentford, Sheffield United vs Burnley. 7:30; Wolves vs Arsenal. Tomorrow 3:30; Everton vs Forest. 5pm; Villa vs Bournemouth, Palace vs West Ham. 6:30; Fulham vs Liverpool. Tuesday 10pm; Arsenal vs Chelsea. Wednesday 9:45; Wolves vs Bournemouth. 10pm; Palace vs Newcastle, Everton vs Liverpool, Manchester United vs Sheffield United. Friday 10pm; Brighton vs Manchester City.
Selected Championship today 2:30; Leicester vs West Brom. 5pm; Cardiff vs Southampton, Norwich vs Bristol City, Rotherham vs Birmingham. Tomorrow 2:30; Blackburn vs Sheffield Wednesday. Monday 10pm; Middlesbrough vs Leeds. Tuesday 10pm; Leicester vs Southampton. Wednesday 9:45; Coventry vs Hull. Friday 10pm; QPR vs Leeds.
GAME OF THE WEEK
For me the Merseyside derby is the worst of all the great local stramashes, but with the added frisson of Everton’s by now annual relegation struggles and Liverpool’s loss of form, this game might just be a decent watch.
Keep an eye also on Tuesday’s clash between Leicester and Southampton. Whenever I have seen them this season the Saints have played great footie without necessarily getting the results they deserve; throw in an inconsistent Leicester and this game could be a cracker.
FA CUP AND SCOTTISH CUP SEMIFINALS
FA Cup today 7:15; Manchester City vs Chelsea. Tomorrow 5:30; Coventry vs Manchester United.
Scottish Cup today 2:30; Aberdeen vs Celtic. Tomorrow 5pm; Rangers vs Hearts.
F1
Chinese Grand Prix tomorrow 10am. Need I say it?
AND FINALLY
Last week’s question: which three players played in three successive Wembley finals in the 1960s, winning all three?
Most people correctly plumped for Bobby Moore and Geoff Hurst, who won the FA Cup in 1964, the Cup Winners Cup in 1965 and the World Cup in 1966.
But no one got John Sissons, who won the FA Cup and ECWC, and in 1963 was in the England side that won the European Youth Championship at, where else, Wembley.
This week: which three sportsmen was the great sports journalist Hugh McIlvanney describing with the following words?
(1) “The physique of a Greek statue but with fewer moves.”
(2) “Plenty of hod carriers made it in football in the past, but they had to learn to play first.”
(3) “Feet as sensitive as a pickpocket’s hands.”