An irreverent glance at the press
ON THE ROCKS
The Ministry of Antiquities announced that it had returned an ancient stone belonging to the Behbeit El Hagar temple after an archeologist who happened to be passing through the town of El Mahalla El Kubra noticed locals using the 3,000-year-old priceless relic as a slab for cutting meat. An official overseeing the temple, which dates from the 30th Pharaonic Dynasty, explained that over the years, citizens have used it as a quarry for rocks to use for work and to build things. Indeed, the surprised 62year-old butcher who was using the stone, which he’d affixed to the ground with cement, said he’d inherited it from his great-grandfather, who obviously had no clue as to its historic significance. After authorities hauled away the relic, the butcher filed an official complaint requesting compensation in the form of another, similar meat-cutting slab. Various media, Dec. 20
A 38-year-old barber terrified commuters when he stormed the Dar ElSalam Metro station, shouting that he was wearing an explosive vest and threatening to blow the place up. Police managed to arrest the suspected terrorist, only to discover that the alleged detonation device he was wearing under his clothes was actually a weight-loss belt. The barber also confessed that he had been suffering from mental trauma, as evidenced by a number of prescribed psychiatric drugs the man also had on his person, said authorities. A local website cheekily dubbed the incident “Cairo’s first fitness-inspired terrorist attack.”
Cairo Scene, Dec. 12
Egypt, suffering from a foreign currency shortage and a widening trade deficit, has apparently decided to rely on its animal population to boost exports. Following last month’s widely publicized proposal from Minister of Environment Khaled Fahmy to begin breeding crocodiles to sell for purses and shoes at $400 a pop, Ibrahim Mahrous, head of the General Authority for Veterinary Services at the Ministry of Agriculture, announced that Egypt would sell 10,000 donkeys to China, which is allegedly suffering from a shortage of the pack animals, which are used in an unspecified way to produce traditional remedies to treat anemia, dry coughs and dizziness among other diseases. Meanwhile, rumors are also afoot that Egypt is negotiating a deal with Korea to export dogs, especially considering that Egypt's shelter capacity is peaking with strays. The clear next move in this strategy involves economic revival via the export of Cairo’s plentiful baladi cat population. Cairo Scene, Dec. 12
"I'd like to apply for a loan to pay for breakfast for four, please."
Media Lite is a satirical review of items published in the local and international press. All opinions and allegations made in them belong solely to the original publications and no attempt has been made to ascertain their veracity. Al-MasryAl-Youm,Jan.4