It does not make sense

Madam,

Why should a woman play the role of both mother and father to her children when the father is still alive? This is a question likely to be asked by a woman who is going through the emotional burden and responsibility of raising children alone. Among all the many things which don’t make sense in this world, the issue of absent fathers is one which doesn’t make sense.

Do you ever wonder if those men who decide to abandon their children ever regret their decisions or if they ever think about the children they have left behind? Does guilt consume them? As a man, under what circumstances would you be okay with not being a part of a child’s life you know you fathered?

I t i s actually hard t o draw a s i ngle answer to all these questions because t here’s common knowledge, t hough hardly accepted, t hat some men j ust don’t abandon their own flesh and blood, but t hey do so because some women push them out of their children’s lives. As some sort of self- defence, some men will say they also wonder if mothers who abandon their children have the same social obligation to feel guilt. \

More so, you find that a man is more than willing to support his child, but is denied t he right t o do so because t he child was born out of wedlock. Such attitudes of blame- shifting help no one but frustrate everyone; t he child and the parents.

Whatever the excuse men put forth for being absent fathers, women render it lame. Why is it so? This is because it is a basic expectation that when you procreate, the life you’ll bring to this world

needs your full responsibility. It really doesn’t matter how the child came about. Whether you loved or didn’t love the woman you impregnated is immaterial.

Men are spreading their seed carelessly and unconcernedly so much you’d think there’s some sort of pride in making a woman pregnant then tap into the wantonness zone.

Imagine a world where all men would be ‘ the real fathers out there’ just like some men are really doing a great job in raising their children. Surely, this planet would be a harmonious place to live in. Every person who assumes the role of being a father should remember that one day his child will follow his examples more than his advice. But whose footsteps must an abandoned child follow?

Maybe absent men should have t he decency of admitting they don’t deserve t o be called men because t hey don’t know what fatherhood is. They are just social accidents.

Nhlangano