When we refuse to adjust

Sir,

One of the keys necessary to significant living is understanding how to walk in wisdom on every level of existence. To be happily married you need more than love, you need wisdom to navigate around your spouse’s weaknesses. To function effectively at work or in your career, you need more than academic qualifications; you need wisdom on how to relate to your colleagues and superiors.

In a family set up, wisdom demands that you acquaint yourself with the roles you are going to be playing as a husband or wife. For instance a man must provide direction and guidance in the house. He must love, respect and honor his wife, and be a role model to his children. In order for us not to stumble at family level, we must understand that wisdom demands that we appreciate the difference in our spouses.

Structures

Men and women have different brain structures; they think differently. They handle stress and depression differently, and have different behavior patterns. To value the uniqueness of another person is a sign of maturity and wisdom. Men typically do not easily share their feelings. Women view this male problem as a ‘heart problem’, “there is something wrong and he won’t admit

it,” she thinks. Men sometimes have a problem of ‘getting in touch’ with their feelings, and it is precisely this struggle that women end up misinterpreting as lying. Men’s brains are compartmentalized – they must focus on one thing at a time. When a man is reading or watching something interesting, he may become virtually deaf to other activities.

For a man, all is boxed in – a box for his job, kids, wife, money etc. The boxes generally never have contact, every issue has its own box. With women, it is generally the opposite. Understanding these unique differences will help us walk in relational wisdom at home. What usually makes us stumble is when we refuse to adjust.

Charles