.... work on Gods approval
THE “bantfu batotsini syndrome” can certainly hold you back from doing something that can contribute to your growth or even change your life. Necessarily, you don’t have to be perfect to inspire others, you just have to be yourself. Do you! Do good. Just live your life. The saying “nobody is perfect” is true.
Don’t kill yourself trying to please others, just live for you. Put yourself irst, do the things you love to do, even if it means doing them alone. Don’t ever let your happiness depend on others. ‘Batotsini bantfu syndrome’ is a commonly acquired condition that has swept across the world and ‘claimed’ the lives of many for years. Like the name suggests, this pandemic is characterised by a ixation with other people’s opinion about one and is possibly rooted in the fear of being judged or rejected. The very basic human need to be accepted, respected and validated automatically makes us all somewhat susceptible to what people think of us. The way the world works and the way we have all been socialised is rooted in ‘batotsini bantfu syndrome’ to a certain extent. Societal structures, the roles we play in relationships and general (un)written rules about what is inappropriate or wrong somehow control the way in which we act, what we don’t say, how we dress, or even what we keep hidden. If so, could it be ‘batotsini bantfu syndrome’ is what actually governs us? What if we actually did not care what people thought about us?
DIFFERENT
The syndrome manifests itself in so many different ways that perhaps we all suffer from it albeit at different levels and stages. My moment of enlightenment came when I realised how much trying to manage people’s perceptions of me had started to consume me and had inadvertently become more important than God. I was so dedicated to shielding myself from people’s judgements when the one whose opinion I valued the most, had already ‘busted me’. This realisation made my hiding antics very futile which essentially liberated me from my abnormal concern for people’s thoughts of me on this particular matter.
BURDEN
The weight of other’s thought can become a burden for you. It can inhibit you from living your life, because your entire being (your personality, your thoughts, your actions) are controlled by an idealised standard of what people want to see. When you become so obsessed with other people’s opinion of you, you forget your own. You can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn; to let yourself free. It’s a skill that needs to be practiced, like meditating. But once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world as entirely different. When we waste the gift of time worrying about what others think, we are distracted from our God given purpose. The enemy can’t steal the light of Christ in us, but he can tempt us to hide it.
Keep in mind, working for the approval of people is also an energy/ time drain. People change all the time. We can be moody people right? What pleases people today won’t please others tomorrow. Know this – once in Christ, you are approved by God. And nothing you do, good or bad can change that! Imagining a life where worrying about what others think is replaced by living freely, joyfully and peacefully. No more distractions from the things God has placed in our care.
We would enjoy the people crossing our path, unconcerned with their thoughts about us. Unconcerned because the Highest God delights over us, calls us chosen, valuable and signi icant. What does God say in the Bible about fear of what others think? In Proverbs 29:25 he said “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” It’s time to stop worrying about what others think of you. Fear of what others think will drain you of joy and peace. Bask in God’s approval of you - He thinks pretty highly of you! God is unchanging – nothing you do can change your approval rating before him. He adores you and delights over you (Psalm 149:4).
Stop striving for the approval of people. It’s time to do a new thing
(Ephesians 4:22-24). Begin paying attention to the thoughts driving fear of what others think. Battle and challenge those thoughts rather than trying to decrease fear through striving and working for the approval of people. God doesn’t want you working that shift anymore. He has more for you – restored peace and joy as you live less for man and more for him. Comments and feedback :
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