Having a father but not having one

Madam,

Parental abuse undermines care giving competency and increases the liNeli hood of child and neglect abuse. %oth research and clinical interventions focus disproportionally on material substance abuse, whereas the role of fathers is highly ignored why" *ender expecta tions and the father’s right to participate on eTual terms as the mother in a child’s life are discussed against the notion of the best interest of the child.

Most research on this subMect looN on the negative conseTuences from parenting. We consider fathering im portant but largely neglected and this has left a gap of parenting roles. We wonder if there cannot be a descriptive innovative way on how men should enroll in maintenance of their children. Although many men are not fathering in a practical sense, they nonetheless hold well developed notions of the Tualities for good parenting and a desire to better fulfill their roles.

5enovating a new strategy can help fathers stand up for their responsibil ities.

Social society can create gender eTuality, shared parenting and a new role which can sometimes collide with the child’s protection as the father figure will not be there anyway. In most cases, we witness men with violent and other destructive behaviour, the ones who Must don’t see the need of sticNing around with their children. Some of them will do this in the name of µkulaya’ they’ll use you to fight their own unending battles with the mother. Why can’t they Must come to a common ground and let the child be"

CONFLICTS

The next thing, society will blame this on the change of generation yet it is the opposite of that. +owever, such conflicts haven’t been openly discussed because the children’s views are often misinterpreted, maNing their voices weaNer.

From a child’s perspective, neither mothers nor fathers can be trusted on their own to provide a child with proper safety, sensitivity and support. So why then let women carry all this responsi bilities by themselves.

Some may describe a psychological change in men who enter fatherhood and some may find that partner preg nancy initiates demanding psychologi

cal reorganisation of self. In the above instances, the postnatal period is expe rienced as being the most challenging in terms of coping with the new reality of becoming a father.

'espite all those findings, men’s potential to change in this period is less attended to in research and clinical interventions.

Fathers maNe themselves absent in their children’s lives as they feel they are a low priority compared to moth ers who are predominantly the focus of policy, practice and interventions in the substance abuse area. There is, therefore, considerable need for interventions that will force fathers to taNe charge.

We are tired of relying on our moth ers and see them suffer because of the struggle they endure. In order to grasp the inner experience of fatherhood and addiction, we must engage in maNing sense of the participant trying to maNe sense of our country. /et’s straighten our societies and our country at large.

Lungiswa Malaza