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I Ncontinuation from last week on how to get over ‘baby daddy’, I thought it would make sense this week to take it a step further and write about when he’s married. Honestly speaking, I’ve never been on the outside looking in, so might sound like I’m speaking from a privileged point of view

What can I say God’s been good I got married first, but enough about me I already got text about last week’s article.

Personally I never had to deal with any one’s wife concerning my children, however, as a wife I have dealt with ‘baby mama’. Before I get another text I will shy from delving much where I’m concerned.

Otherwise here are the basics for ladies who have children with Sipho

The most first sensible thing you can do is to accept that he has a wife now, so respect boundaries. Never think that since he had a child with you first before he met her it gives you some kind of power over the wife, it won’t end well.

Obviously I don’t expect you to be best friends with the wife or be crazy over her, but respecting her can take you far.

You also have to be realistic; didn’t steal Sipho from you.

I don’t know why we have this notion that men can be stolen; a grown man goes where he wants to get peace.

Personally I recommend that you at least try to be civil and have the wife’s number for emergencies. If you are both mature you can actually get along, but if you still in love with baby daddy well it won’t happen.

Being civil with the wife can also help, for instance if the child’s needs to take some medication since it’s winter or vitamins, she will make sure it happens.

We all know men never take those things seriously in fact most don’t even know where the medicine cabinet is in the house.

It also helps when you can’t reach baby daddy you can then call the wife whom most of the times knows where her husband or have an idea about his whereabouts the wife

In most cases, she can track him down quickly for emergencies

The other benefit is if the wife is kind, she can suggest winter clothes for your child when she buys for well not all of them but some do.

On the flip side of things, if you have a serious problem with the wife, trust me half of the things you need for your child will be last on his priority list. Once he’s married, resist calling nonstop because the child is sick, take the child to the doctor and inform him later.

Don’t call 15 times at night thinking ‘baby daddy’ will answer when his wife is around, boundaries. You certainly can’t rock up either uninvited, if anything, it’s wise that he picks up the child at your place.

Or whatever the arrangement that works for all of you, or if his mum or your mum are around, you can drop the child there where it’s neutral for both of you.

for you

don’t get there and make you too comfortable and make yourself tea. Don’t go there dressed in a suggestive tone hoping he might see you and well

If anything you’d only be hurting yourself because afterwards, he will go back to his wife. Same as when her comes over to fetch the child don’t walk around half naked hoping he will get tempted, of course, he will he’s a man but after ‘that’ he will still go back to his wife.

Lastly, please refrain from using the child as a spy glass to monitor everything that happens at his house.

If doesn’t involve you, don’t bother yourself with his comings and goings or how many times he argues with his wife, Also never use the child as a weapon to fight your wars because he chose to marry someone else.

Co-parenting works well actually I know because I’m doing it myself so it’s possible you both just need to look at the bigger picture which is the child always.