To all the new police recruits

LADIES and gentlemen, do not be discouraged by people outside, who are saying you have joined the Royal Eswatini Police Service (REPS) at the wrong time. There has never been a wrong time to get a job. From a bird’s eye view, you have chosen well.

There could never have been a better time to become a police officer than now.

You are coming in when officers of all ranks have practically become civil servants. They work from 8am to 5pm…well, almost.

They actually start working at daybreak and stop bothering themselves shortly after dusk. The REPS you have joined is arguably the only police service in the whole wide world that only operates by day and `goes offline’ at night.

Elsewhere, the police work 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365¼ days per year. This happens in both first world and third world countries.

It is the situation in countries like Colombia and Venezuela, where the crime rate is so out of control that citizens are afraid of both police officers and criminals.

Come to think of it, countries like Norway, Germany, Hungary, Malaysia and Finland are among the safest in the world but their police work 24 hours as well.

You will soon be going on training at the prestigious Police Academy, which was ironically located in the country’s crime capital, Matsapha.

According to documents in our possession (it’s actually the Government Establishment Register), immediately you start training, you are already identified as Constable II and start getting paid.

How charming is that? You can google this but from a bird’s eye view, there are only a few other professional jobs that pay people while they are in training.

Teachers, accountants, nurses, engineers, environmentalists and marine biologists have to labour for years, trying to get that diploma or degree, then go home to wait for job openings.

Only after they get employed do they start getting some sort of wage. In Eswatini, teachers, nurses and other civil servants tell sad stories of working for at least two months without getting paid, with their superiors telling them about glitches at the Treasury Department.

Most of them usually get backdated salaries paid in the third month.

We are yet to confirm, if new police constables go through the same financial sorrow. In any case, you are getting into a profession where dedication to protecting the public used to be the motto.

However, today you will find that you only have to look out for your own interests and those of your immediate families.

Yes, you will ignore distress calls after 6pm (in winter) and 7pm in summer, even when you are on duty.

Just tell the caller, “Asiti, angitsi nine niyasidubula.” You are free to say this to anyone, even if they have never taken down even a bird with a slingshot.

The only difficult thing you will have to do at work is finding the right social media platform (Facebook, Twitter or TikTok) to while away time.

The only risk you will face is getting negative comments to your posts and `no likes’ on your comments. We all know how very saddening that can be.

This is not to suggest that previously, the police were quick to respond. They would take three to four hours and sometimes arrive the next morning after giving all sorts of excuses. You, ladies and gentlemen, are coming in at a time when you do not need an excuse. It is just enough that ‘sekusebusuku’ (It’s dark outside).