‘Twerking’ for patriarchy

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’M always fascinated by videos of women ‘twerking’ and having the time of their lives. ‘Twerking’, which comes from mapouka, a dance originating from the Ivory Coast, is characterised by rhythmic and worked movements of the pelvis, which can be worked out with specific choreographies and movements. Of course this dance move is done mostly by women, and comes with a lot of raised eyebrows and disapproval from society. But in my observation, ‘twerking’ is not the issue, but the way society sees it and how it relates to women, understands and explicates the complexity of gender.

Object

Women are sexually objectified and are represented as an object for men’s pleasure. There is a tendency by women to self-objectify themselves in men’s eyes, hence the fascination around ‘twerking’.

A number of women, who hate to see this, go online to send their disapproval over ‘twerking’ women. This has brought me to an interesting perspective, and that is – women will either ‘twerk’ physically because they like dancing and enticing men while at it, but also there are women who ‘twerk’ for the patriarchy on a daily basis; they just don’t know it.

This observation was inspired by a post I saw on social media, where a man posted a picture of a random woman with natural, plaited hair and captioned it ‘I wish women knew how sexy this is’. Lo and behold, in one of the comments under his post, was a woman who responded with a picture of herself with the same hairstyle as the woman who is considered ‘sexy’ by men. And my first thought was, ‘Why is this one ‘twerking’ for patriarchy’?

Dancing for approval from random men you see on the internet is not so different from the young ladies who ‘twerk’ at nightclubs. Patriarchy has the tendency to dictate to women how they should dress, how they should talk, behave and who they should aim to please.

Shaming

There are these messages we see, hear and read about every day that are aimed at shaming women who choose differently from societal expectations. And this will never stop as long as there are women who see these demeaning messages and jump in to say ‘Look, I’m different from other women. Pick me’! This is only a strategy to divide us as women even further. Yes, each person has expectations and preferences in a partner, but those preferences must not be used to shame other women who do not fit that bracket.

For example, I prefer men who are smart, kind and respectful. This is a personal choice and, therefore, should be at the top of my list whenever I look for a partner. There’s no reason why I should start bad-mouthing people who do not fall under my category of good partners. But some people do not see it this way; they shame those they do not consider people they would date.

Instead of fighting that spirit, we dance to their tune; we try to appear as the ones who are above the rest. That, in my eyes, is dancing for patriarchy. It is as ridiculous, in my eyes, as it is in your eyes when a woman ‘twerks’ on table tops in nightclubs.

‘Twerking’ came to the forefront of the American

consciousness when Miley Cyrus bent over in front of Robin Thicke. But for many of us, the dance is just natural movement – something our bodies, and our ancestors’ bodies, have always done, with no need for instruction or explanation. Just like pleasing patriarchy – it comes naturally to want to defend yourself against misogyny by proving how worthy of recognition you are, and how different you are from other women so that you can win their approval.

Of course this concept is complex, and it is deeper and wider than I’ve made it out to be, but I’ve simplified it to what many will be able to relate to. This, ‘twerking’ for patriarchy thing, is the reason why violence and domestic abuse is still a problem. It’s the reason why women fight for leadership positions, and compete among themselves instead of seeking to elevate each other.

Vote

It is the reason why every term when it’s time to vote for parliamentarians, we always end up with 98 per cent men and only two per cent women when the law provides for 70/30. We need to stop dancing to their tune and start changing our mindsets if we want to change things in this country.

I came across a concept that pleasure is power. It explains why after dancing for patriarchy, it gives one pleasure to be praised for being ‘different’ and that makes one feel powerful over other women.

Imagine if we turned that around and actually found pleasure in elevating each other? How powerful would we be as a gender? An act that is pleasurable is an act that does not depend on capitalism. Like, we wouldn’t need to depend on donors to encourage women and men to vote for women, or ensure that women are part of decision making. That is where the real power is.