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Ievery married woman’s worst nightmare to learn that their spouse is playing the field, literally, after he should have long hung up his boots. I honestly never understand why married men feel the need to step out of their marriages and look for something else when they have the full package at home. Instead of fixing whatever problems they come across in their marriages they opt to be cowards and look for an easy way out.
Yes, I said it they are cowards and want things easy, instead of putting in the work in their marriages.
Most men who step out are normally lacking something at home, but instead of addressing or fixing it, they would rather hook up with gullible women who are available. I’m a huge fan of reality television shows about relationships as you know by now.
I have been following the show titled Love and Marriage in Huntsville on 1Magic. What initially looked like the ideal very successful young couple, turned out they were going through a rough patch. The Holt’s (Melody and Martell) who lack nothing financially, turned out they were actually dealing with infidelity.
The husband had an affair; he informed his friends that it was physical for at least a year. It also turned out that they went on to speak for another two years after they were caught out.
When Melody finally caught on what her husband was doing, she apparently demanded a meeting with the mistress to ‘talk’. The meeting hasn’t been aired so we don’t know what transpired.
Out of shock and anger as one can imagine, she moved out of their matrimonial home. I suppose in between he managed to sweet talk her and she moved back home with the kids.
In each episode it’s quite clear that she never really dealt with the betrayal as she brings it up often and it’s obvious that she doesn’t trust her husband anymore.
T’S
In one episode she asks her husband why he took so long at the gym and when he went to a bachelor party interrogated him about it the next day. It’s clear even to a blind man that she was still hurting and worse the trust was broken.
The husband in his defence claimed that he stepped out because she was too busy to be home and had no time to even cook for him and other bedroom issues. Women have the worst tendency of sweeping things under the carpet and not dealing with issues head on.
I have no idea how one should handle the news of infidelity but I do know that if you decide to stay be prepared for the extra work to rebuild what’s broken.
Personally, I will never tell another woman to leave their marriage or their relationship; but if you choose to stay know that there’s a lot of involved to get back to that happy place.
The first step I normally advise is counselling; it’s very imperative when trust is broken. There’s a lot that can come to light from counselling.
Forgive him, this is very important; because if you don’t you will be paranoid by little things every time he goes out.
Yes it will take time to trust again but it’s possible. Find out why it happened, how long; was it a first, mostly what did you contribute to the affair.
Marriage or any relationship needs work and sadly most of the time after the wedding we tend to forget to nature the garden of love to keep it green. I’m not in a way justifying cheating; all I’m saying is make sure you didn’t make it easier for him to step out. Most of the time men cheat because the madam is too tired to be intimate ngiyabekisa.
Some don’t make time to cook for their husbands and expect auntie to do it, aze aletsele your husband’s food with a tray, while you are on your phone on Facebook.
Some have neglected their duties as a wife and delegate things that a maid should never do for your man ukhona.
Some are always out with friend’s indvodza ihleli ekhaya. Some hide at church every Sunday instead of being home with their husbands. Not that there’s anything wrong by going to church, but find balance including work.
Of course not all women contribute to their men cheating, some just love changing women and expect to be married at the same time. So if you decide to stay, be prepared to do the work and hopefully he makes it easier by meeting you halfway.
They are now husband and wife. The Mhlangas pose for a pic ture after they were offi cially pro nounced husband and wife.
T12.
+,S
wedding was for Nontobeko Dlamini and Dumsani Mhlanga. It was celebrated in Nhlangano at the Hope Restoration Church on November #OurEternalLove.