When they love you, you know

Ihad to shorten the topic but the full one goes; when they love you, you know, when they don’t you will be confused. It feels like I keep writing about this because my female readers keep ignoring the obvious signs and keep hurting themselves by running after Sipho, who has no desire to be kept.

When you really think about it, you know when someone loves you, but if there’s any confusion then you have your answer. But no, sometimes women need Sipho to spell it out. Here is what I have learned in my experience, when it comes to the matters of the heart, men generally don’t like hurting women by stating the obvious, they would rather show you, hoping you will get the hint, challenge is women always ignore the signs in hope that maybe its because he’s just busy with work.

Or he is stressed, or he still trying to figure out where to place his baby mama, who he’s not yet certain if there’s a future regarding marriage. It could also be that he has his steady girlfriend in the picture but because he is a guy, he would rather keep you in his books, just in case the steady has the regular issues and doesn’t want to see him. It could also be because he is married but he is not happy, but because he knows there are some women who don’t mind sharing he will see you when it’s convenient for him.

The truth is when Sipho loves you, you know, awubi utibuta that does he even care or love me. When his actions confuse you, then you have your answer. When he disappears after 5pm and you can’t reach him. When he doesn’t answer your calls on weekends, unless of course he is the one who said he wants to see you. But somehow when you use someone else’s phone to call him, surprisingly his phone rings. But somehow on Monday his phone rings and he gives you a million stories why you could not reach him. When he can’t see you on weekends and on holidays because he has his whole family visiting, but somehow his baby mama is allowed to be there kani yena he claims they broke up.

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When he insists you can’t post his pictures on your status because he is a private person and doesn’t want people to know his business. But on Facebook he still has picture of his baby mama and he is keeping them there because they have a child and that’s the story you were sold and you bought it, hence why you can’t post him. When he forbids you to comment on his Facebook using love emojis because he doesn’t want people to know his business, yet his baby mama writes on his wall and akusiyo inkinga.

When he refuses to meet your friends, especially your siblings because he is not yet ready for that step. This also goes for you meeting his friends or relatives noma ke sema work colleagues, he keeps telling you than it’s just that they met his ex and most people still think they are together manje he doesn’t want to be explaining a lot of things. So basically you only know him and should he disappear on you, you wouldn’t even know who to call because you haven’t even been to his place once he keeps coming over to your place.

The signs are always there, it’s just women always choose to ignore them. Some ignore the fact that a guy has already declared that he has a girlfriend, but no, they think somehow they can still fit in his life. The reality is, when a guy tells you he has someone in his life or bluntly tells you that he has a girlfriend, he’s basically saying should you agree to date him just know that you are the side chick and nothing more.

Should he be put in a position to be caught, you will be the one he drops like a hot potato, because he has basically told you the truth that he has girlfriend or a partner, but because some women don’t respect themselves enough as they stoop to the side chick level, they agree to be a secret.

So there you have it, when he loves you he will show you. He will make time for you, he will call you, he will check on you. He will declare you to his friends and family and the world. You won’t need to chase after him at all or stalk him. He will not make any excuses to be with you, because when he loves you, you will definitely know.