JUST FOR LAUGHS

THE TIME TRAVELING SOLDIER

When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was I in there for?”

“YOU NEED A SHORTER PASSWORD.”

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. “It’s taped under the modem,” I told him. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-PE-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-MO-D-E-M?”

RELAXING LOCATION

While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. “You’ll have a beautiful view of the swan pond,” he assured them. Dad wasn’t sold: “Unless you’re including a periscope with my casket, I don’t know how I’m going to enjoy it.”

CLICKING INTO PLACE

“Everything’s starting to click for me!” said my father-in-law at dinner. “My knees, my elbows, my neck … “