Something is missing from our advocacy against domestic violence

All the workshops to create public awareness about the evil of domestic violence are commendable. While a lot of focus is on the victims not enough is being done to address the root cause. What is missing is how can we stop or prevent violence against women and children.

We have strengthened the law to act as a deterrent and discourage anyone from using violence as a form of retribution and discipline. The courts have consistently declared that there will be no tolerance or excuse against domestic violence.

In harmony with this move corporal punishment has been outlawed in schools. A number of teachers have ended up in court and lost their jobs after being found guilty of inflicting corporal punishment on students.

While these measures have raised that public awareness they have not completely eliminated the problems. There appears to be no letup in domestic violence cases.

All the measures we have taken so far are the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff approach. It is essential to go to the rescue of victims, undertake rehabilitation and punish the offenders.

That in essence is half of the problem - what happens after the unfortunate and tragic event.

What we are not doing enough of is looking at the causes of these incidents. In short, what can we do to ensure that they do not reach this point.

There is no simple solution because there can be multiple factors.

Some blame our patriarchal lineage and culture under which the men are accepted as not only head of the home but superior and the final arbiter on domestic issues whether they are right or wrong. This is an abuse of this privilege and is conveniently used by men to hide their weaknesses and inhibitions and show their strength that they are in control.

The fact is real men do not stoop to this gutter level. Real men show their strength by doing the right thing not resorting to violence to solve a problem. There are many examples of them out there in the community - honourable men who respect their wives, women and children and treat them with dignity.

So to blame our patriarchal heritage is a lame excuse especially when we have been enlightened by our religious teachings and values which go against any form of violence.

There is an urgent need to hold more training workshops on the roles of husbands and partners in a family.

Studies have shown that children who have been raised in an environment of love at home will grow up with the same spirit and take it with them when they start their own families.

We need to change the mindset that it is okay to use violence against women and children to solve a poblem. There are better alternatives - more peaceful and dignified - to deal with it.

It requires a collaborative effort of all stakeholders that includes the Government agencies, law enforcement, NGOs, faith groups, community leaders, schools and most important, the parents and couples starting a family.

Unless we change the attitude we will continue to see a rise in domestic violence cases.